Visitations

So my parents have decided to come on down to London and stay with me.  I must say it is always nice to be with parents but, lately they have really been getting on my nerves.  Yesterday really pissed me off.  I came home after a day in the office having only had about 2 hours sleep (my own fault) and I didn’t want to do anything except nap, which I did.  Though, before I did go for my nap, I was asked by my dad if I wanted to go for a walk in central London…………..

I slept.  I know I maybe should have gone out to enjoy the bright, sunny day, but I had enjoyed the weekend by being out in the open, running and doing my thing. I napped. 

Meanwhile both my parents had left me alone in the quiet to recharge my batteries. 

I overslept, naturally.  Wouldn’t you?!  I had nothing else to do that day!  Don’t judge!!!  I came around when my parents, several hours later decided to stroll in….I say ‘stroll’ it was more of a frantic gesture.  I awoke to a very pungent, bitter smell.  I was actually offended.  I then overheard my mother claim that she had tried to phone me several times, which she did, to alert me that she had left the stove on.  I still do not know what she had left on but, my god was it was smelly. 

I had no sense of what was going on as:-

1. I am a heavy sleeper.
2. I had my room door closed and the windows open.  It was hot!
3. Most importantly, I AM A HEAVY SLEEPER!!!

So I could not smell anything as the door was closed and fresh air was rolling down my window.  It wasn’t until my door was opened and when I awoke I smelt it all.

I got out of bed to assess the situation and enquire as to what had just happened.  I was informed, after being on the receiving end of some piercing looks from both my parents which suggest that it was MY fault that I nearly burned the fucking house down and killed myself, that it was indeed my mother who had left the stove on.  Yeah, apparently it was my fault my mum is a retard. 

At dinner, I was asked if I did at all hear my phone or the house phone ring, to which my response to the inquisitor was, “Do you actually know me?!  I am a heavy sleeper!”

The rest of the chat at dinner was about as entertaining as being gang raped by a horde of barbarians. 

I hate more than anything being victimised for something which had nothing to do with me.  Yes, maybe I should have been a little bit more alert, however, what if I had gone for that walk with my parents?  They would have probably found some way to blame me still. 

So, this and their constant trying to teach me how to drive – despite me being the only member in a family of five NOT to have been involved in a car accident – and many other things is actually causing me to develop cancer slowly, painfully, surely.  I am starting to enjoy their visit less and less.  They have thrown a monkey wrench in my whole program. 

I did enjoy the visit of one of my good friends recently.  He arrived in London exceptionally early one Friday morning and we got up to all sorts of kick ass things.   It felt strange to be hanging out with one of my good friends from home in a different city.  It was a good ‘strange’ feeling and I actually discovered a few things about London that I had never seen before as well as tried some different eateries as well.  We walked everywhere too! On average we walked about 5 or 6 miles per day so we didn’t feel too guilty about being over indulgent…..Gelato and Cinnabon!

We both agreed that we wish we had much more money.  There is just too much to do in London and not enough money in the world it would seem! 

This brings me nicely onto my next point – my parents were saying this the other day –

“It is a wonderful thing to be able to afford all you desire, but money is not the route to all happiness.”

I said –

“I like the round-about way in which you articulated that lame cliché, but I would rather be crying in my Ferrari, thank you, good night!”

Much love,

Jackson L.