Iron Maiden

I wrote this YEARS ago now.  It was on the 'A Matter of Life and Death Tour'.  I was still a kid so dont laugh.  It is about the greatest heavy metal band ever: IRON MAIDEN

I was, last night being Friday the 15th of December '06, at about quarter to 8 in the evening sitting ignoring the fact that Trivium were on stage at an arena with my best friend. We were both rather bored by them trying to be a primitive Metallica and left to get something to eat. The duration of their set we remained seated in the small, rather shabby cafe.

It wasn’t until they finally fucked off we got ourselves up to go into the main arena to get good stations for the forth coming set which was about to take place...for it was the magnificent IRON MAIDEN!!!

So Antonio and I, being myself, got to approximately 10 feet from the front and crash bang in the middle. Finally, about 5 to 9 o'clock rolled around and the lights went out and by god(!) it went crazy...I was freaking out!

Maiden emerged from the shadows and WOW!!!

it was 9 o'clock when they came on and they played:-

Different World (will be released as a single on Christmas day)These Colours Don’t Run
Brighter Than A Thousand Suns
The Pilgrim
The Longest Day
Out Of The Shadows
The Reincarnation Of Benjamin Breeg
For The Greater Good Of God
Lord Of Light
The Legacy
(that was all from A Matter Of Life And Death...all in order, was loving it!)
Fear Of The Dark
and Iron Maiden
They encored with:-

2 Minutes To Midnight (something incredible happened here...)
The Evil That Men Do
Hallowed Be Thy Name(I think that was all)

None of Dance of Death was played and not many more classics were played (which I thought was great because that would have pissed off assholes that came to see them for Run To The Hills and thats it...was great for true MAIDEN fans!) but it was still a 2 hour set and it was a spectacular set with props that are just unimaginable. Only if one can see it for themselves would one understand they level of awesomeness this concert was oozing which was just infinite!!! The props included a tank with Eddie (the Maiden mascot) popping his head out with a set of binoculars...was giant! And better yet, a 12 foot robotic Eddie appeared from nowhere with a gun in hand and walked about the stage! (WHAT!?!?) Was so good! Not to mention the artwork of the backgrounds of the stage. The setup was ever changing with a different picture to set the theme of the song and it was just beyond amazing!

The Maiden guys made it all look so effortless. Bruce Dickenson's voice was sheer talent booming out of his throat; his crowd control was just unbelievable!

He was on fire!

Nico McBrain on drums was just legendary! Set up every song, introduced them very well. How he can keep up with Steve Harris on his bass drum with ONLY ONE SET OF BASS DRUMS just defeats me! It leaves me puzzled!!! An awesome performance from the McBrain as ever!!!

Steve Harris...the heart and soul of MAIDEN!!! He just can’t be more of an icon! The passion he put into every song and every note he play and everything he did. A true performer and one of/if not the greatest bassists of heavy metal and music history!!!

Just when you thought it wouldn’t get any better bloggie,

the guitarists - Dave Murray, Adrian Smith and Janick Gers...
WOW! Solos aplenty!!! Each one of them brought their own element of awe into the gig! Janick is a complete performer; throwing his guitar up 6 feet above himself and catching it clean playing difficult solos incredibly while dancing about the stage. Dave engineering solos like there’s no tomorrow also making it look like a piece a’ cake and smiling at the crowd whereas Adrian, keeping a very calm air of cool about him also making solos piss easy but in actuality, the real reality of it all is that they might be the most difficult thing ever played on a guitar!

During 2 minutes to midnight:

Approaching the end of this rocking song people were going out of their mind, crazy at this point and Bruce was right up at the crowds grill! Really close to us. Pits were crazy! About 8 people fell to the ground at the front, and mid song Bruce stopped singing...the music kept on playing and everyone kept on going nuts. The people who fell were helped up and Bruce asked pretty much everyone who fell, pointing them out individually "are you alright?" and eventually getting back to the song he says "I have lost my track now" but luckily, the hardcore MAIDEN fans kept it alive by singing every word and Bruce heard this and carried it on...with his flawless voice!

As I assessed this situation that occurred post concert, I realised how much care Bruce and the rest of Maiden have for their fans, not only for the people who fell and Bruce asking them all if they r ok but the whole of Maiden put on a fucking incredibly, outstandingly, spectacularly, rockingly, PHWAAAARRR! Of a show. How?? I hear ye of little MAIDEN faith ask?

How many gigs have you been to where the band have put so much effort into their set to make it most enjoyable?

How many gigs have you been to where there are any props at all let alone 12 foot robotic Eddies walking about, Giant Tanks and a background which changed with every song?

How many gigs have you been to where the headlining band is on for over 2 hours? But most of all how many gigs have you been to where the front man/woman stops mid song to ask if everyone is ok? Hmm?? Hmm??!?!?

I put these questions to you and i challenge thee to defy me!

As my assessment of this FANTASTIC concert went on, tears almost brewed in the eyes that just saw the greatest band in the world...

UP THE IRONS!!!!!

Cherish her....

I remember when I first started to play Rugby I was desperate for my mum to come and watch me play like all the other players' parents would.  My dad had come once or twice but not too many times because of his working schedule. 

I remember when I would have arguments with mum about why she would never want to come and watch me play and she would always say:
I can't bare to see my baby get hurt or hurting others.

This only aggravated me further. 

I remember I had a very important semi final to play in my hometown.  I remember it attracted nearly two thousand people to come and watch us play.

I remember getting injured during that game.  I remember getting taken to the hospital by ambulance.  I remember seeing my mother's devastation.  I remember hearing my mother cry.  I remember the guilt.  I remember it outweighing all the good time I have had at Rugby. 

I remember how happy she was when she found out I was going to be OK. 

I remember saying to my mum:
After all these years of playing this game and wanting you to come and watch me....I am glad you didn't.  You made the right choice all this time. 

I remember feeling like my mum always knew and will always know best for herself and her family.  I remember forgiving my beautiful mother for this small favour she would not do for me and wish she would forgive me for any hurt I have ever caused her.  She has given me so much. 

I love you mama.

Much love,

Jackson L.

Written in the stars.....

I am all for people looking for hope and different avenues to help make their life seem less dreary.  I do enjoy being in the presence of insanely positive people, even those who are incredibly chirpy on a mundane, dark, cold, beginning of January kind of Monday morning.  They are a real credit to our race.  How can people still find happiness in all that?!  Anyways, I digress as I so often do.  I like it when people find ways to be content and push for happiness and make things happen.  I like it when people find some medium in which they find some sort of hope.  What I do not like though is when that hope is found in something so shit…..daily horoscopes. 

I do strongly believe that the people who write them are actually taking the utter piss out of their readers.  They say ridiculously vague bullshit like:

Things will happen in you life when you go out and do things.  You may or may not like what occurs but remember this; at least you have your health….unless of course you decide to take your own life due to reading a pitifully dire attempt at predicting your immediate future. 

It then goes on to discuss generic things such as romance, finance, general wellbeing and work/academia.  This, more often than not, goes something like this:

Romance - You may or may not find yourself madly in love with someone/something.  If you are - well done.  If not - ……

Finance - You are probably not at all well off because you have picked up and read a free newspaper (The Metro) and that is just tragic.  However, if you are just a tight cunt who likes to read free newspapers and not spend money on real broadsheet newspapers that don’t sugar coat the news by saying insanely zany stuff like “In a place called abroad bad things happened.” then well done you for not being poor.  Also, keep telling those who are poor that ‘money can’t buy happiness’ as this will prevent riots.  You are probably a banker who is getting an undeserved bonus so you are a total shit and I hope you die.  Slowly. 

General wellbeing – good/bad.  It just depends. 

Work/Academia – In terms of works, please see finance.  With regards to academia, you are just awesome for being able to read this in the first place.  I am not at all trying to fill your head with hot air. 

People who read these things and actually take it seriously please, please get a life.  Find your niche in something truly inspiring.  I’m not saying you all need to be like Nelson Mandela and find words of inspiration when serving 30 odd years of your life in prison! Just find something a little more educated and something that will not patronize you. 

I had actually read three different newspapers’ horoscopes today and they were all vague, shit and extremely lame.  But, the thing that REALLY aggravated me about them was that they were all different.  They showed no consistency whatsoever.  For something that is supposedly written in the stars – surely they can’t be THAT different, can it?  Or is it one of those silly things that is just down to interpretation? 

I am a person who believes in fate.  I think everything happens for a reason.  A reason we may not like but it will happen nonetheless.  I have always thought about they why of many things and wondered how things would be if they had worked out differently.  More importantly, I would wonder how I would have turned out if things had worked out differently.....It was then I realised that with or without faith I would believe in fate, destiny or the inevitable.  Whatever you so wish to call it. 

Anyways, rant over.

Much love,

Jackson L.

Facebook.

I remember the scepticism I felt when I was first told to just join Facebook.  I had already had a 'Bebo‘ page.  I thought this was terrible and about a year or so I got rid of it.  I then joined Facebook to shut some people up and in perfect honesty I must say I was very surprised, after getting used to properly using it, at how good it was.  It was full on global and I must say I found people on Facebook that I had not spoken to in over a decade!  It has gone from strength to strength having been only an internet phenomenon to mobile phone apps to becoming a household name.  Even my parents are on it.  It has, for many people, become their main source of communication; ahead of emails, texting, instant messaging (chat) and even phoning. 

This service allows you to plan and organise dates for your calendar, birthday reminders, communicate, play games, upload photos, keep updated on what your friends are up to as well as allow you to let people know 'what's on your mind'.  It is a massive commodity now.  Some people, really sad people, but people nonetheless have withdrawl symptoms due to lack of Facebook in their lives.  It truly has become one of the biggest things on the internet as for many, this is the first port of call when they log into the internet and even I am guilty of being on Facebook on my phone when I am not supposed to be. 

Although Facebook has been used for many good things like; rekindling lost friendships, keeping in close comms with close friends and even getting Rage Against the Machine to oust X-Factor to UK no. 1 last Christmas, it has recently become such a drag.  What with the whole changing your profile picture to a cartoon character:

This was a plan to try and help allure attention to child abuse and it was to act as a reminder that it does still happen everywhere.   I am all for driving attention to worthwhile causes which this most definitely was.  But, I'm sorry but if you were to ask some children who are/were abused - they would probably say something along the lines of "What the hell was this supposed to achieve?!"  I think it is such a dumbass thing to have done! If people were truly concerned about the well being of children they would have done something a little more proactive like....I dunno FUCKING GIVE TO NSPCC CHARITY!!!  The really funny thing was that this was apparently an unofficial movement and it had no affiliation to the NSPCC at all.  A rumour quickly spread that it was linked to a paedophile ring, yet people still kept their toon profile pictures up.  Their reasoning was 'It does not actually harm anybody.'

I would just like to express my opinion here - I believe that the vast majority of those people involved in this movement did not actually give a shit about whether children get abused or not.  They only got sucked into the so called 'movement' because everyone is painfully conformist and in my humble opinion a total douche.  The main slogan I saw was 'Plaster facebook with your childhood memories'.  FUCK.  OFF.   This had no effect on lessening a child's chances of being abused.  I would very much like to remind you that it truly does happen - even here in the UK.  It is very much a real thing.  Do the right thing.  Give to charity and show REAL support (here) like I do and continue to do so. 

Now there is an even more annoying affair occurring on Facebook.

This so called 'Numbers game'.  What this entails is a friend would private message you with a number and then on you status update you recite the number and then give a description of what you feel towards your friend.   How pitifully insecure about your own friendship must you be to want to know what someone feels about you through the medium of Facebook with such a shit method too?!  A number so that it is anonymous - yet those who like what they read will 'like' it so it is only too obvious.  Some people are SO fucking thick!

There have been many other negative stories in the media surrounding Facebook due to people's inherent need to be racist, threaten to take lives and many other such acts of violence. 

Of course they have also made a film 'Social Network', seriously?  How much more do they actually think they are going to milk from us?  It is totally deplorable that people are so feeble minded. 

For me, Facebook is unfortunately a great way to keep in touch with family who live abroad, friends who live far away and to keep updated on what my nearest and dearest are up to.  However, these stupid games and constant emails you get referring to pointless comments you receive based on the aforementioned things. 

Please Facebook, stop being shit. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

UGG boots

Once again, as always, I was on the tube on my way to be educated on a higher level when I found myself in a slightly less crammed carriage (thanks snow) and I witnessed a distinctly unappealing girl standing about 3 feet away from myself and she was only made even more tragically horrific due to those HIDEOUS Ugg boots. 

Apparently they are unisex but I am not, as a human being, going to be seen wearing that shit! I would rather be a destitute!

So to add insult to insult (as for me wearing those in my presence in a fucking MASSIVE offense which should have the consequence of those seen in public wearing them to be put down!) she began to address the entire carriage about the cons of wearing these grotesque, repugnant boots in the snow.  She initiated this with a complaint about how insanely soaked through these boots, retailing at an average of £90 - £150!

After listening to this pathetic excuse of human existence ramble on for close to 15 minutes about how terrible they are to wear in the snow but then explain how much she loves them, literally half the carriage, myself included, of course, began to badger her with questions about her stupidity which in turn left approximately 50+ people in this carriage stupefied.  I decided to go on a rant in front of everyone myself and proceeded to explain:

'Can I just first of all say that you are awfully brave to have come out and face this weather in those boots let alone discuss to a carriage full of people who were bored shitless by your little social experiment.  I am a man who gives credit where credit is due.  However, I must share my opinions with you as you shared your lamentable opinions with me.  I would like to point out that these boots are without fail the most disgustingly aberrant item of footwear I have ever laid eyes on.  I also think that it is a painful tragedy that in the UK these are socially acceptable.  I did not think Britain would get much shitter but obviously I have been catastrophically incorrect.  And it is afflictive to the point where I think I may get cancer.

You only needed to take a look outside and perhaps have made the suggestion to yourself that these were not the most appropriate boots to wear on a day like this, no?  Well done genius.

The weather of late has been rather harsh and the fact that you decided to wear a non-water proof item on your feet really goes to show your intelligence....or lack thereof.  I would like to convey my happiness that this has occurred in your life and I hope it would have taught you a lesson to not spend copious amounts of money on such silly looking ugly, ugly, abhorrent boots on the basis of their comfort alone. 

You are a really stupid idiot.  I hope you do not make anymore fuckheaded decisions like this in your life anymore; otherwise you will struggle in life. 

Thank you for listening.' 

Needless to say, it felt very good and several people did give the girl pitiful looks.  The girl did not say anything after that.

Flawless victory. 

Please, if you are thinking about buying Ugg boots, don’t.  They are just awful and a complete turn off. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

Rugby

It has been a very exciting time of year in the international rugby calendar.  The autumn tests have been and gone and my good god have there been upsets and near misses and so much more.  It is a great time for the southern hemisphere teams to come and flex their rugby might.  It is also a chance for the northern hemisphere teams to see how they fair with trying to match or better their southern cousins.

Unfortunately I did not get a chance to watch teams battle the French of or the Italians, however, reflecting on the scores it would appear that the French were very uncharacteristic with a good win against Fiji (34-12), although nothing less was expected, an unconvincing win against Argentina (15-9) and a crushing defeat at the hands of the Wallabies (16-59).  The Italians showed some great leaps of improvement.  Narrowly losing to a good Pumas side (16-22), losing to a wounded Australian side with a lot to prove on the back of a defeat at the hands of the English and also beating a well drilled good Fijian side that drew with Wales (24-16).  Let’s hope the French get their flare back in time for the 6 nations and also hope for a more competitive Italian side that can beat more than just Wales and or Scotland. 

The home nations (Ireland, Wales, Scotland and England) had a very mixed string of performances all lacking consistency.  However, Ireland and Scotland are very exciting prospects for the 6 nations as they steadily improved as they played more tests.  England, despite their last defeat which could be a blessing in disguise, were also very, very good.  Woeful Wales did not manage to put a winning performance together and that was, not only surprising but a shame. 

Wales came out with a good first half against the Australians in their first game of the autumn tests.  Having just beaten the All Blacks, however, the Wallabies must have been either sore or soaring on confidence.  Their backs were devastating – with an average age of 23 years in their backs division and their attacking prowess, it looked like it was going to be a whitewash.  Thankfully for Wales, in front of the Australian backs were a poor set of forwards that really struggled at set-piece time – particularly in the scrum.  For international rugby it was almost laughable how much the Welsh were bossing the Aussies about at scrumaging.   This more than kept Wales in the game and in touching distance at half time 7-6 however, Stephen Jones had missed one or two penalties.  The game ended at 16-25 to the Aussies but the score did not at all reflect how the Welsh played.  Not to say they deserved the win but Australia had the better attacking play through their backs with the little ball their forwards managed to secure.  Wales did not take their chances when they got them and also, Stephen Jones should really land his kicks. 

Against South Africa, Wales were 17-9 up at the half.  I would even go as far to say that the Springboks with their hallowed green and gold were fortunate to only be 8 points adrift.  But this truly was a game of two halves.  A game for the purist.  17-9 became 20-9 very quickly after half time and Wales looked very comfortable however, two quick converted tries later (Alberts, Matfield) and two more penalties in the closing moments of the game saw the South Africans record their second win of the autumn tests and only Scotland and England stood in their way of a 5^th grand slam.  Wales really did not have the cutting edge and ruthlessness to see the game off and seal the win which would have sent their confidence sky high. 

Against the Fijians, a game you would bet your house on the Welsh to beat due to their superiority in the game, I believe there to have been incorrect managerial decisions made pre-game.  It is a game that Wales needed to win to set them on the right path.  A game, I think Wales were lucky to come away with a draw! The Welsh were shaken in the first half due to the hard hitting, hard running, hard Fijians.  A shock first try came from the Fiji number 13.  With the Fijians up 10-6 at half time, it was time to bring the big guns on and Wales made the right substitutions.  A penalty try was awarded to the Welsh due to pressure on the Fijian scrum 5M out from their try line.  An exchange of penalties and then an injury time penalty to Fiji gave them the draw which, of course they treated like a victory.  This left the All Blacks licking their lips.  It was almost certain that their 4^th grand slam was in the bag! It was disappointing to see Wales play their worst rugby in a long time.

Against the All Blacks, the Welsh really stepped up their game but it was not good enough.  A tired, lackslustre New Zealand still managed to rack up a 20 point differences with Dan Carter missing 13 points.  Wales’ rush defense tactics worked initially they were finishing the half at 13-9.  The second half was much more interesting with 3 more tries coming from NZ and despite Dan Carter not having his kicking boots on, managed to land a few of his kicks.  A late consolation try for Wales saw the score end at 25-37 to the All Blacks. 

Wales have found new youngsters Dan Lydiate and the imposing 18 year old winger, George North who made a great man of the match debut against South Africa with two tries.  BIG improvements need to be made in the run up to the six nations and the World cup. 

Ireland a bit more success having recorded two vital wins out of four.  They had narrowly lost their first game against reigning world champions South Africa who had come from the back of a lamentable season in the southern hemisphere’s tri-nations having only managed one win against the wallabies.  Ireland had not played together for several months and this was no easy start to the autumn tests.  They only get into their stride by the second half having scored one or two tries and also, there was more confidence in the team.  South Africa held out for a narrow 2 point victory to win 21-23.  A bad start to the game from an Irish point of view but, it developed into an excellent game of rugby.  Tight, edge of your seat stuff.  Young Jonathon Sexton had one or two penalties that could have landed victory earlier in the game.  With experience, he will land those kicks easily as I feel he may have been a little nervous. 

A hard fought win over Samoa in wet, miserable, muddy conditions saw Ireland win 20-10 in a good game of rugby.  As was seen by Samoa, they were not push overs and you really had to work for a win against them.  They were still in search for top form as they had not yet reached the epic attacking dexterity which, on their day could give the likes of France a run for their money.  A win, however, is a win however unconvincing it may be. 

Unfortunately, in the Irish’s search for form, they had to face up to the strength of the New Zealanders.  This, although ended at 18-38, saw Jonathon Sexton play one of his best games in an Ireland jersey and also, saw Ireland play some great rugby.  The first half was end to end action with tries being exchanged to give New Zealand a 19-13 lead at the break.  The game ended at 18-38 with the beloved Brian O’Driscoll picking up a try.  The score did not reflect the game at all but a tired Irish defense let in 2 easy tries.  Or maybe they looked easy because it was the All Blacks.  Either way, a terrific first half especially from Ireland and a thoroughly enjoyed test match.  Ireland went on to record a great win against the Pumas.  Ireland racked up 29 points to Argentina’s 9 which was a great win for Ireland which put them 5^th in world rankings. 

Scotland had a very poor start to their autumn series campaign.  Allowing the prolific All Blacks to walk all over them and put 7 converted tries on the board.  They lost emphatically with a final score of 49-3.  There were a few young players on the Scotland team and playing against the world number 1 team perhaps made them nervous as well as not having played as a team for several months.  Although a truly devastating hit to the confidence within the team, they were a completely different team against South Africa just a week later.  They managed to defend very well, exploit the Springboks rush defense and force errors by the world champions and defeated them 21-17.  A flurry of penalties and a drop goal for Scotland and a penalty less and an unconverted try more for South Africa saw Scotland take the game.  Who ever said you need tries to win a game? After this victory Scotland came into 6^th place in world rankings.  After only narrowly defeating Samoa 19-16 (with a last minute Ruaridh Jackson penalty) and other results now puts Scotland in 7^th place, just behind France. 

I expect exciting and unpredictable things from this Scotland side this 6 nations.  I think Coach Andy Robinson is doing a great job at the helm. 

England had an impressive start to their campaign.  Although losing to New Zealand, they played very well.  They made a thrilling second half comeback but lost by just 10 points to the world’s best rugby team.  They actually won the second forty minutes. To suffer this defeat and then think about having Australia to play against in a weeks time, for many, would have been very daunting but, not for Martin Johnson’s men.  They grew in confidence from their second half performance against New Zealand to churn out a historic win against England’s favourite rugby opposition, Australia.  35-18 was the final score against Australia and this was their second win in a row with 2 Chris Ashton tries including a wonder try from his own half.  A hard fought win over Samoa saw England win 2 out of 3 in their campaign with wins over Australia and Samoa and a good performance against the All Blacks left England relishing their final game against the world champions.  But the wounded Springboks had other ideas.  After their loss in the highlands, the Springboks wanted to put things right and who better to do it against?  A Powerful performance from South Africa saw them dominate the set piece and territory in the open and left a final score of 21-11 with 2 tries for SA (Alberts, Mvovo) one converted and 3 penalties to England’s 2 penalties and late consolation try. 

A lot of positives to take from this campaign for England but, I do not like their brand of rugby.  However, no one has to like it; as long as they win, right?  I think if they peak at the right times which recently England have had a knack of doing, they can go on to great things and cause great upsets in the future. 

The northern hemisphere, I found were not a million miles away from the southern hemisphere.  I saw that they would either beat them, narrowly lose or the scoreboard did not reflect how they played.  I feel that competitions will be a little bit more closely contested and I feel this will start with the 6 nations. 

Although the northern hemisphere teams were not too far off, I still feel that the southern hemisphere play at a much higher place, play with more confidence and play with a greater level of creativity.  They are just more clinical.  They do the basics right, they do the basics well and that is a devastating combination.  Although it may be more closely contested, I feel that the tight grip the southern hemisphere have on world rugby domination will not be loosened drastically anytime soon. 

I believe teams like Fiji and Samoa have really benefitted from having some of their players playing in the more competitive leagues in the world; the Aviva premiership, Magners league, Top 14, even the Super 14s.  I do think there is still a lot of room for improvement but, not all their games were one sided affairs. 

The big three – New Zealand, Australia and South Africa showed some very good stuff.  Especially New Zealand, they were able to churn out wins even on a bad day against England and Wales.  When they were on top form they were slicing through defense as if they weren’t even there.  Australia were running hot and cold.  To lose against England in such a harsh fashion but then to go out to France and win by such a MASSIVE margin….well done them is all I can say.  They have a very young team and I am expecting exciting things from this team.  Their forwards do need a lot of work though.  They did really suffer against Wales and England.  South Africa lost out only marginally to Scotland but won all their other games against good opposition.  Although they have had a poor season, they showed true champion form by winning games and closing them out against Wales, Ireland and they showed their true form against a very confident England. 

I believe that, unless France show some improvement to get back to their winning ways and soon, England to take the 6 nations crown this coming year.  A grand slam? I don’t think so. But a tournament win? Definitely not a far cry from it.  I hate to say it, because I do not like their brand of rugby, but they can indeed win the six nations for the first time since 2003! Scotland can definitely be outside favorites.  I can see Scotland causing upsets this year in the six nations.  Wales need to get back to winning ways and close out games.  Ireland has found some form in the last few games in the autumn series.  Could they win the championship?  Well they do have the home advantage against the big teams, France and England, but they did lose their last game at Croke Park against Scotland last season.  Beating Scotland in Murrayfield can prove too difficult.  All this aside, France did win 5 championships since 2000, 3 of which were grand slam wins. 

As for the world cup, could a northern hemisphere team win it one more time?  From their display in the autumn tests it looks like the All Blacks have a point to prove.  They do not want to choke when it matters anymore.  They showed very well rounded performances; defensively, from spot kicks, their open play, their set piece and athletic ability.  It is said every rugby world cup but, I think New Zealand really will win it.  They have to win it.  They have been the best team for the last 4 years despite the Springboks having the crown of world champions.  I guess we will have to wait and see until October 2011. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

I really, REALLY don't care....

So the Prince of Wales is getting married.....does anybody actually give a flying fuck?! Seriously it has been the only thing that is all over the papers for the last few weeks.  I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT!  I like it when I see people falling in love and their love blossoming into a loving family and whatever else but, when it is constantly pushed onto you? Nah.  Get the fuck outta my face!!

I am not a monarchist.  I do not believe in kings and queens etc, especially in this day and age.  The monarchy has too much undeserved control over everything.  It is completely unnecessary.  The really fucked up thing is that they think it is their right to have it all due to their 'glittering', royally fucked up, (literally) in my opinion anyway,  history.  The Windsors aren't even British by origin.  They are German. Much like the Nazis were.  Also The Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philly is Greek.  Which reminds me of a funny Frankie Boyle joke - The Queen must have an asshole like a broken cat flap being married to a Greek.  I found that too funny.  It was the kind of funny that if you were eating cookies and drinking milk, milk would come out your nose.  Anyway, their history is in actuality just a round about way of pillaging.  They would order the invasion of other countries during the days of the British empire and they would just take countries.  And Britain still own those countries when you think about it - the Commonwealth - is still well and truly the modern day British Empire.  It is disgusting!

Can I also, just highlight and emphasise how fucking shit it is of the royals to give the UK a holiday for the wedding which is set to be on 29-04-2011 so that all can share in the joy of their wedding.  That, to me is the height of dicketry.  Don't get me wrong, I love having the day off, but if they think I am going to spend it watching some total dick who was born with a platinum spoon shoved so far up his ass he makes Goldie's teeth look like a welfare job, they have got it all wrong.  I don't think most of Britain will be watching.  If they do - my goodness, how deluded can people get?! I saw in the paper today some lady say:

'It is great we have the day off.  It is wonderful news to balance all the bad news we have had recently.' 

I'm sorry - WHAT?!?  Yes, our country is in the shits thanks to some dumbass bankers, Korea looks like it may very well be war torn once again - which only means that USA and the UK along with EVERYONE else will get involved  (World War 3 much?), people constantly being stabbed, raped and murdered, gun crime is on the rise, student strikes, tube strikes, Ireland's bail out and you think a shitty wedding of the marriage of two people you have never met and will never meet, have no affiliation with whatsoever balances all that?! What in the actual blue fuck is wrong with you, you tremendous cunt?

Well, with everything, I do try to look on the brightside of things.  I will credit little Willy with not marrying his cousin, because for a long time that is where it was going.  All royal bloods had to marry royal bloods and due to ALL monarch's history they all eventually became one distant relative after another and therefore they all look strange and have an IQ measured in decimal places, like 8.4 and have no idea what the internet is. 

I will be happy to take the day off on the 29/4/11 but I will most definitely not be watching this public spectacle.  It is a total farce and I do not give a shit about it.  There is not need at all to make it public.  I would rather be raped by a rhinoceros' horn, without lube while sucking the udders of a disabled cow while Justin Beiber (FAG) sings to me and having my testicles put in a blender and an AIDS victim ejaculates into my eyes.  But thanks for the offer!

Dicks.

Kids

On any given day I use the tube to get from A to B….and other letters in the alphabet.  Due to my lengthy commutes I usually have my headphones in listening to some music while reading the Metro  or one or the other.  Today, my Ipod battery had decided to die and also, I had read most of the articles I wanted to in the Metro.  So I had to sit trying hard to avoid eye contact with other passengers.  I’m sure I have mentioned before, there is only a certain number of times you can read the same advertisements. 

Thankfully, a lady stepped on with her brother and her child.  Their brief entrance into my life was to be a rather week highlighting moment as my whole week has already been made thanks to the happening which later occurred.  And it’s Monday!  There were no seats near the child’s mother.  So…

MOTHER: Go and sit next to your uncle.

CHILD: I don’t want to!!

MOTHER: Why not?

CHILD: I don’t like him!!!

Child then wails with tears while the rest of the carriage is bursting with laughter.   This may have been the funniest thing I had seen in a long time.  The thing that makes it so funny, for me, is the fact that the child was so brutally honest.  Kids don’t give a shit.  They say it like it is and I wish there were more adults that are like that.  Somewhere along the way we, as adults, become more precedent and it is so dull, mundane and a total cop-out.  Truth be told, I am guilty of it.  There have been countless times when I have been asked “Do I look fat in this?” and I’m thinking yes but say “No, not really.”  I guess I just don’t want to hurt people’s feelings but, seriously, truth hurts.  Usually I am brutally honest myself.  Although I try not to hurt people’s feelings; I do still tell the truth most of the time when it comes to appearance, actions and whatever else. 

I salute kids and LOVE their innocence.  The fact that they just say it as they see it is one of the greatest gifts of youth which is quickly taken from them with age.  Furthermore, as I saw with the child on the tube, when children cry I do feel heartbreak but when it is over something so silly and trivial, it is just hilarious.  The faces some crying children make as well as the ridiculous sounds?  Possibly some of the funniest things I have ever witnessed. 

 

How funny is it when kids learn the art of lying?  It teach and teach and teach kids that lying is wrong but when they start to lie about stuff, because they are so painfully bad at it, it is just too comical.  Sometimes you don’t even need to accuse them of anything!  It becomes an ‘it’s so bad its good’ situation.  We teach our kids honesty as it is a very desirable trait and it defines a strong character.  To raise your hands and admit that you have done wrong and that you are mistaken is one of the most courageous things people can do.  But, do we encourage our children to tell little white lies whenever we laugh at their futile attempts to lie?  Please see Richard Pryor’s explanation of kids trying to lie.

Many people say day to day – ‘stop being a child and just grow up!’ or something along those lines.  Many of the same people along with many others overlook the fact that there are times when children are more adult than adults are and actually have the balls to be that truthful.  Children have the edge over adults when it comes to innocence and therefore, do not know what repercussions can arise by always saying it like it is.  Those of us who are adults who are brutally honest about EVERYTHING….well, you are all just a breath of fresh air.

Watching children grown up must be a very heartwarming, fulfilling feeling but one must cherish their younger years as kids.  This is when most of their greatest days will lie in memory forever.  Kids light up the future and will have plenty of time to grow up and be old. 

We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.” ~Native American Proverb – Here is something to think on. 

Shisha time!

One of the greatest things I enjoy doing is, especially at the end of a week is wind down with a shisha. I know I recently blogged about healthy living but, come on! Everybody has a vice!
 
So, living in London, there are several shisha establishments to enjoy...definitely spoilt for choice. Starting with Edgware road - thee most Arab place outside the Middle East - there are a fair few places that I recommend. First of all, Palm Palace. This is a pretty cool place when seated outside. It can be a little cramped. Excellent for watching the world go by. However, you will most definitely get better atmosphere if you were to do shisha in their basement. Full bar, serves food, loud music. YES!
 
Maroush deli and Sidi Maarouf are also not too bad on Edgware road, but their service is rather dire! Slemani is very good. Probably the best value on Edgware road for only £12. Service is good too as well as some GREAT shawarma there too. Very much recommended.  No indoor service though at these places.  The Maroush franchise own the Sidi Maarouf restaurants. 
 
Al Deewan on Sale Place is a charming little place. I recommend you go downstairs for this one too. Best service anywhere in central London. Really nice fresh fruit drinks in this place. This place comes highly recommended.  Because of its intimacy it is easy to talk to randoms.  They have this ‘cave’ style room and if you can get that booked, you’re in for a great little night. 
 
Whatever you do, avoid Shishawi on Edgware road. IT. IS. SHIT! Their shisha leaves you a burnt throat.
 
If you venture more North West London I recommend you try out the Basrah Lounge in Park Royal.  It is a slightly more upper market place what with their customers having to book tables in advance. Some of their shisha are made with fresh fruit. Also, they have a variety of flavours that are different to the Edgware road places. In addition they have a fantastic menu of snacks and meals. Very much a place for atmosphere and due to this establishment being more or less a big canopy, it would be best going during the summer months.

I am yet to, and relishing trying out Karaam – a Lebanese place in Ealing.  They have a shisha garden as part of their restaurant and I have heard it is really very nice for atmosphere with friendly service.  Apparently the restaurant itself is second to none in terms of Lebanese food in London. 
 
Prices range, for a good shisha from £12 - £25. A good shisha session is good for a laid back chat with friends, nice way to meet new people; good way to try cultural things and above all an excellent way to kick start your weekend. Also, all the places I have tried and metioned above use a specific kind of 'tobacco' called 'Al Fakr' molasses.  This is the best quality that will smoke. 
 
I would say, make sure you have plenty of water when smoking shisha, do not do it on an empty stomach and do not get too addicted to it.
 
Enjoy it!
 
Much love,
 
Jackson L.

What is this 'truth' people speak of?

Everybody who has ever been born and raised on God's green and blue sphere known as Earth has been raised to believe a version of the truth.  Whether it is about the existence or non existence of God, morality, mortality, after-life and any other epic philosophical life or death issue we were taught in some sort of belief.  Usually these set of beliefs, morals and ethics befall the umbrella of religion. 

Over the course of our lives, these beliefs tend to have the ability to relapse fairly frequently and, unless you have the patience of a Saint or strong, strong faith we search for a new religion.  A new set of ideals to follow.  We, therefore, convert.  That conversion, for many people, can be very traumatic, not only for those who do convert their souls but also for those around them.

Christopher Columbus landed in the 'New World' in 1492 (Columbus day is celebrated around the 12 day in October annually).   Upon his arrival and setting foot on the strange land which he'd thought he had discovered, he was accompanied by a Catholic Priest.  From then on, priests began arriving to that continent to help spread the word of the Lord and the ways of God.  The priests tried to convert the natives and change their ways - trying to get them to kiss the crucifix, to stop smoking peyote, to cover up their nakedness. 

Their response?

THE PRIESTS WERE MAIMED, TORTURED AND BURNED AND THEIR BODIES OFFERED AS SACRIFICE TO THEIR GODS.

I guess the moral of this story is that you cannot enforce your own practices, beliefs and way of life onto others.  If you find yourself in the presence of people of different race, religion and creed and they are good people then who are you to try and change them?  If it works for them and they are good hearted people then there is absolutely no need to feel it is your duty to try and 'change them for the better'. 

I often find, with any convert, whether he or she goes from 8 packs a day to smoke free or Conservative to Labour, ends up condemning his/her former practises with the view 'those beliefs did not work for me....they can't work for anybody.  Their vision becomes tunnelled - blinded by the intensely bright light at the end of that tunnel.  Whether he/she has transformed into a Buddhist or joins drug rehab, they become fanatics.  Before they know it, that light at the end of their tunnel is just a freight train coming their way. 

If you ask me, it is fanatics that fuck up the world.  They are the ones who have the strangest ideals.  Especially the ones who believe they have God on their side.

I am a man of faith, the Muslim faith.  I find it tragically embarrassing that men of my faith carry out atrocities in the name of my religion and in the name of God and claim that it is what God wants to happen.  It is a most NON Muslim thing say let alone do.  Just because others do not follow the same faith does not make them bad people.  What these fanatics, terrorists and all those who condone this behaviour are doing is in fact haram.  It is so disappointing to have people show my religion to be everything it is not.  God who is known as Allah in the Muslim faith condones neither the murder of the innocent nor the judging of people by others.

Where does that leave the rest of us? Well, I believe that not all of us need divine light to stay on the path of righteousness.  In the darkness, we only need enough light to make our way around without stubbing our toes anywhere. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

Fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Although I am very happy with my move to London and glad I left the cesspool that is X, I would be almost be dehumanised not to have at least one or two complaints about my new home.  Everyone has a moan about something and this is my time to moan about something.  It is and always will be the British way.  It is the winning way. 

I find the standard of driving in London to be of particularly poor quality.  I have been driving for a fair amount of time and thankfully nothing too major has happened.  However, every time I am behind the wheel in London - I always get the feeling that something WILL happen.  It is actually a rather scary thought as I cannot go for a 'relaxing' drive which I often would do as it is painfully stressful and I do not like needless stress.  If you can drive in London without crashing for at least an hour, you deserve a medal.  Or a plaque stipulating how epic you are or a fucking MBE!!

I do have a theory as to why it is so terrible.  London is considered one of the biggest metropolises in the world.  It is one of the greatest cities in the world; in population, stature, hustle and bustle and character.  It, therefore, attracts people from all over the world - i.e. those who live outside of the UK who have different driving rules and laws in their native countries or least countries where they learned to drive.  They then apply the same rules and laws when they are in the UK and shit well and truly hits the symbolic fan.  Giving way at junctions and round-abouts is out the window as is mirror-signal-manoeuvre.  Not to mention being cut off.  And then when you express your frustration through the medium of car horn for the ultimate, well timed and very satisfying "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??! FUCK YOU!" They think that you are in the wrong and go ape shit at you which only throws petrol in the fire.  Some people are just too proud.  When I fuck up on the road - not that I do regularly - but when I do, I hold my hands up and take full responsibility for my actions. 

Furthermore, many of these people and many Britons as well do not actually have car insurance.  As many as 4 million drivers on the road right now do not have car insurance.  With that in mind - whenever an uninsured driver crashes into an insured driver, the individual who is insured's company loses out more so than the rest.  Therefore, insurance for everybody goes up which is why my and many other law abiding citizens have had to pay the price for the selfishness of these absolute cunts.  Well I have a message for these twats:

GET YOURSELVES FUCKING WELL INSURED OR GET RID OF YOU FUCKING CAR, YOU FUCKHEADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR DRIVING IS SO BAD IT GIVES ME CANCER!!
 

I get very agitated when people who do the right things have to pay for those who do the wrong things. 

In addition to this, I love film and cinema.  I have, unfortunately, not had the opportunity to go to the cinema as often as I would like, although I have been a few times over the last few months.  Usually in a month I would go in excess of 10 times.  I have never had a worse cinema experience anywhere.  London just does not know how to run a proper, decent cinema.  The establishments themselves - most cinemas I have been to here do not even have cup holders in the seats.  The seats themselves are torn up, uncomfortable shitty seats which seem to proudly display their vomit stains.  But asides from all that, the thing that pisses me right off more than anything about my cinema experiences in London so far is the fact that whenever I have been to the cinema some asshole just do not want to shut the fuck up and quietly watch the film.  Have you seen that part in Scary Movie....

It is seriously as bad as that for a lot of people who go to the cinema.  Many are quite happy to just announce their opinions about the movie, whilst everyone else is watching it.  Its like please shut the fuck up before someone smacks you the fuck up you utter, utter, terrible stupid dick! Keep your desultory, insufferable opinions to yourself or WHISPER! Whispering is still socially acceptable you total cunt!

I have been to see "Resident Evil - 3D", "The other Guys" and "RED" in London and EVERYTIME(!) there is some shit for brains who just decides to sit in the back and; audaciously laugh at the least funny thing that happens, talk continuously expressing their opinions, predicting what will happen, regurgitating what was said, laughing some more, pointing out the obvious (which emphasises how pathetically futile their minds are) and also just, generally exist.  I don’t think these people realise how stupidly moronic they actually are.  They need to sit down.  Take a long hard look in the mirror and say to themselves "STOP BEING A FIRST CLASS WANKER!"  And make a conscious effort to stop ruining my cinema experiences otherwise, they should just kill themselves.  They should kill themselves until they die from it!!

Chill out you say?  Well I say shut the hell up!

Much love.

Jackson L.

Adventures on the London underground

One of the many things I love about London is the London Underground transport service.  Also known as 'the tube' to virtually everyone! It was the first of it's kind in the world and it was the first to go electric in the 1890s.  It is about the only thing the British government have done well to expand and make sure for good service.  Despite the pricing, it gives a great feel of connection to the whole of London and the Greater London area too.  You can get anywhere in no time! It is great!!

The experience of the tube is made all the more glorious by the happenings I have encountered and been involved in over the last few months.  All walks of life are found on the tube; rich, poor, thin, fat, ethnic, cultured, learned, old, young.  For better use of a cliche....the list is endless.  The practicality of the tube and the potential adventures that could befall an individual makes it a necessary commodity to experience for people who live in or for those who visit London.  So many random, yet magical moments with complete strangers allows for a vivacious feel. 

One of the best things about travelling in the tube in the morning is the sight of those who, clearly, miss their bed a little bit too much.  You can see they are struggling to stay awake and you feel for them, because you know what it is like to have eye-lids that feel like they weigh tonnes! So 'dozers', as I call them, doze off and when they are thrown about on a somewhat bumpy ride - they awaken with the greatest expression of shock, horror and fright on their face.  A youtube video dedicated to this would be comical indeed. 

Intra-personal moments between yourself and one other person are few and far between but, these moments are well remembered and greatly cherished.  The ability for strangers to know what each other are thinking without even conversing is so very powerful, it is almost poetic.

I was on my way home and sat in a fairly quiet carriage as I was nearer my part of town in greater London.  I was sat opposite a man and there was a BEAUTIFUL lady sat near us.  She had OLIVE skin, SOLAR GREEN eyes and JET BLACK hair.  To say I was in awe would be a catastrophic understatement.  She, unfortunately, got up to get off at her stop and out of my life.  I caught the other man's eyes staring at her as well, admiring her hysterically charming grace.  She got off the train.  The man and I were left with her perfect image in our minds.  The man and I looked at each other. Nodded - as if to say "She was SO hot!" - and then carried on with our lives. 

Some moments on the tube are, however, not ones to savour and bethink. 

Minding my own business I was on my way to central London.  I got on at my stop and noticed a man starring at me.  He was a mangy middle-aged man which I had no affiliation with.  I did not think much of it as I thought he would eventually find something far more interesting to divert his relentless attention on.  No word of a lie - four(!) stops later.  Four! And he was still glaring at me.  I was listening to music at the time so I switched off my ipod, took out my headphones and then proceeded to return the favour.  For the next 10 or so minutes (which is a mighty long time considering what we were doing) we were locked in a death stare.  We just stared at each other.  I honestly have no idea why.  He and I did not know each other.  There was not affection there.  Nothing.  Meanwhile other passengers were aware of this and were nervously laughing, wondering what in the BLUE fuck was going on?!
.....................................................................................................................................................................

He eventually got up to leave and even when he stood up to make his way to the door and even when he was at the door he was still staring.  So I questioned "Why don't you take a picture??! It will last longer!!"  To which he seemed to get intimidated and he broke the stare and finally looked away.  Surrounding passengers laughed at my and his reactions and then asked me what it was all about.  Of course my reply was "I wish I knew."

I suppose it was quite comical thinking about it now.  Though, compared to the next occurence I had to endure....this is a relatively small metaphorical fish which was fried in a rather cumbersome metaphorical pan. 

On my way back from home I witnessed a Paris Hilton wannbe get on the train.  It was not her appearance which bothered me.  I could not care whose look you choose to adopt or how you feel you should express yourself.  As long as you are the best person you can be - I do not judge.  So having said that - if you are indeed a Paris Hilton wannabe, fine.  As long as it is only her looks you try to emulate. 

Anyway, she had a dog on a leash.  A small, yapping, annoying, ugly piece of shit. I am not really a dog person*.  Again, I thought to myself - each to their own.  I looked.  Smiled.  Looked away.  Everyone else on board was giving the "AWW! How cute?" look.  So the dog kept adamantly barking and it was rather irritating to say the least.  Eventually I saw the dog assume the position and take a shit.  In the middle of the carriage floor.  The stench was staggering.  Imagine if you will.  A fairly crowded train.  Underground - humid.  A dog shitting.  All I could think was FML!!!

*I feel that dogs are disgusting creatures.  They lick their own balls and dick and then come to lick your face.  They are far too dependant and that, personally would royally piss me off.  They are painfully thick hence the phrase "Thick as dog shit!" They hump EVERYTHING.  I just think they are too dirty and they smell.  This is all, of course, an opinion and I can completely understand emotional attachment others have towards dogs.  They are just not for me. 

I am considered an opinionated person.  I express my opinions when asked for them or I tell them off my own accord when I feel I need to.  For some reason - I thought I would have faith in humanity and let someone else express their disgust.  Thinking someone would step up to the mark and say something...people did nothing.  Instead they, again, had the "AWW! How cute?" look on their faces again.  Is this what it had come to??  Who was I suppose to turn to? 

Thankfully I was only one or two stops away.  As I got off at my stop I looked at the woman.  I did not smile.  I thought to myself "Your life must be pathetically tragic.  You feel you are not good enough with your own looks and stylings and you need to follow some total dick's lifestyle.  I thought she was a sad; utter, utter, terrible, stupid knob with shit for brains and that the world would be a MUCH better place if she'd just killed herself.".

She, of course, did not even attempt to clean it up.  What a total dick. 

As I mentioned, many different people of all creed use this service.

Sitting beside an elderly man, I saw several medals on his blazer.  This man was the quintessential - happy old man.  He could not be more of a polar extreme contrast to the grumpy old man persona which is just common and only too well known.  It was very impressive, I thought, that he was so well decorated, from what I thought was war medals.  I mentioned that he bore a lot of metal.  He was only too keen to explain that he was in fact a World War II veteran and he wears more than just a poppy.  As he was explaining to me how passionate he was about helping out the soldiers of today as he has witnessed what war is and can do to individuals, first hand and all the charity events coming up for the next few weeks, a cross dresser in drag sat in front of him and next to me.  Like I said before - I have an open mind to these things.  You can have any appearance you like as long as your heart is of good nature.  I like Eddie Izzard!  I made nothing of it.  I was very keen on hearing more from 'Gradpa WWII' as I named him in my mind.  Unfortunately his attentions were diverted.  He was giving piercing daggers to the cross dresser.  I have honestly never seen a change in one's emotion.  It was actually rather profound.  He had a look of anger and revolt on his face.  You could almost tell what he was thinking: WITH ALL THE DIGNITY I CAN MUSTER....I SAW HELPLESSLY WATCHED MY COMRADES DIE AND WITNESSED THE HORRORS WAR HAS TO OFFER FOR THIS KIND OF PEACE?!"

I actually found his feelings towards the cross dresser a vicious, yet welcome reminder of how things have and always will change with every generation.  This man would have seen the end of many an era and the dawn of many others.  He will have loved some and loathed others.  It made me appreciate why so many of our elders get annoyed and frustrated at the young.  Although, I do feel that those who are older than us should understand and appreciate that things have and always will change - for better or for worse - they should just roll with it, I had no illusion that I, one day, will also get annoyed and frustrated with those much younger and less experienced and maybe even utter the horrendous "Back in my day...." cliche.  But for now I laughed.  I laughed at his reaction because I found it funny.  For now I think I will continue to laugh because I really rather enjoy it. 

It is very hard for me to imagine or even believe the tube will now forever have an association with terrorism.  Especially now that on the tube - with this ongoing inquest into the bombings - I read about the bombings.  I really do wish the inquest well and they salvage something to make the lives of those effected by it better.  It was truly a hideous operation which was carried out all in the name of religion.  As a man of faith, I believe that this and all other terrorist activity carried out in the name of religion is haram.  These terrorists who commit these atrocities in the name of Allah are only painting an image of everything Islam is not.  Allah does not condone these philosophies exercised by these terrorist organisations.  In the eyes of Allah they are not even Muslims or any other faith because they are openly defying Allah. 

On a lighter note, the greatest feeling in the tube is a feeling that will last only the blink of an eye. 

When on the tube the most vexing obstacle is to avoid eye contact with other passengers.  This is so because you are so conscious of it and you can read the same adverts only a few times before you start to lose your mind.  But when your eyes do meet with the eyes of an enchanting random and both blushfully look away, smiling and momentarily fall in love.  That is THEE single most exhilarating feeling on the tube.  Ever. 

A million journeys are worth just one of those feelings. 

Much love,

Jackson L.