UGG boots

Once again, as always, I was on the tube on my way to be educated on a higher level when I found myself in a slightly less crammed carriage (thanks snow) and I witnessed a distinctly unappealing girl standing about 3 feet away from myself and she was only made even more tragically horrific due to those HIDEOUS Ugg boots. 

Apparently they are unisex but I am not, as a human being, going to be seen wearing that shit! I would rather be a destitute!

So to add insult to insult (as for me wearing those in my presence in a fucking MASSIVE offense which should have the consequence of those seen in public wearing them to be put down!) she began to address the entire carriage about the cons of wearing these grotesque, repugnant boots in the snow.  She initiated this with a complaint about how insanely soaked through these boots, retailing at an average of £90 - £150!

After listening to this pathetic excuse of human existence ramble on for close to 15 minutes about how terrible they are to wear in the snow but then explain how much she loves them, literally half the carriage, myself included, of course, began to badger her with questions about her stupidity which in turn left approximately 50+ people in this carriage stupefied.  I decided to go on a rant in front of everyone myself and proceeded to explain:

'Can I just first of all say that you are awfully brave to have come out and face this weather in those boots let alone discuss to a carriage full of people who were bored shitless by your little social experiment.  I am a man who gives credit where credit is due.  However, I must share my opinions with you as you shared your lamentable opinions with me.  I would like to point out that these boots are without fail the most disgustingly aberrant item of footwear I have ever laid eyes on.  I also think that it is a painful tragedy that in the UK these are socially acceptable.  I did not think Britain would get much shitter but obviously I have been catastrophically incorrect.  And it is afflictive to the point where I think I may get cancer.

You only needed to take a look outside and perhaps have made the suggestion to yourself that these were not the most appropriate boots to wear on a day like this, no?  Well done genius.

The weather of late has been rather harsh and the fact that you decided to wear a non-water proof item on your feet really goes to show your intelligence....or lack thereof.  I would like to convey my happiness that this has occurred in your life and I hope it would have taught you a lesson to not spend copious amounts of money on such silly looking ugly, ugly, abhorrent boots on the basis of their comfort alone. 

You are a really stupid idiot.  I hope you do not make anymore fuckheaded decisions like this in your life anymore; otherwise you will struggle in life. 

Thank you for listening.' 

Needless to say, it felt very good and several people did give the girl pitiful looks.  The girl did not say anything after that.

Flawless victory. 

Please, if you are thinking about buying Ugg boots, don’t.  They are just awful and a complete turn off. 

Much love,

Jackson L.