Health health health

With everyone more and more health conscious it is hard to know where to start.  Everyone knows the basics; eat fruit and veg, avoid fried foods, drink lots of water throughout the day etc.  Keeping healthy is more than just that, although, that is a good start. 

The key thing to bear in mind when you want to lose weight is that it is more to do with your nutrition than it is to do with your exercise regime (for the right exercise see earlier blog from 2010).  One must keep a healthy balanced diet to achieve healthy weight loss which will stay off.  This means YOU NEED FATS IN YOUR DIET!  One must look out for the quality of fats to eat though.  Poly unsaturated fats, such as olive oil, sun flower oil and cottage cheese are the best fats you can have in your diet.  They are extremely important for cholesterol control.  That is not to say you eat shit loads of it as it is still in the fat category and calorific but, you should by no means avoid a whole macronutrient. 

Metabolism is something which you hear a lot about.  There are certain things you can do and foods you can eat to accelerate your metabolism.  Eating 6 small balanced meals in a day is actually better for you as your metabolism is employed more often throughout the day.  The perfect six meals to eat in a day, believe it or not, is

1. Salmon and steamed broccoli (salmon is high in protein and omega 3 fatty acids which is very good for the heart.)
2. Around 3 hours later - a healthy dollop of peanut butter on thick wholemeal bread.  A common misconception about peanut butter is that it is bad for you.  It is not.  VERY high in protein which will keep you fuller for longer allowing you to have a later lunch.   It is suggested you eat 25% less calories in your next meal thanks to research done at the University of Illinois.  Also, you get the fibre in your diet from the wholemeal bread. 
3. Lunch: Any meat – I prefer white meat like chicken or turkey or tuna – in a wholemeal baguette.  I used to season avocado VERY well as it is, in my humble opinion, quite flavourless. 
4. Cottage cheese with pesto.  What a way for your body to excrete fat.  Cottage cheese is great for that. 
5. Dinner: Turkey chilli: Minced turkey breast with onion, tomatoes and jalapenos, chickpeas, kidney beans and a dash of cumin.  Chillies boost your metabolism; the rest is so high in protein that you will probably not want to eat a thing after. 
6. An evening snack of a banana, apple and orange usually did it for me. 

Throughout the day you should also keep well hydrated.  Water, fresh orange juice, teas (especially green tea) are all very good for you. Drinking 16oz (around a pint) of chilled water first thing in the morning boosts metabolism by 24% for up to 90 minutes!  Get a good start to the day.  Oat granola is a very good snack as well with raisins and yoghurt or milk. 

One of the most important things to bear in mind when you consider eating well is the old ticker.  The heart is not so sensitive when you are young but take care of it in your youth and it will remain healthy throughout life.  For a mighty heart, it was foun that those who eat Marmite, or any other yeast based spread on toast is great for cardiovascular function.  It is due to the very high levels of benfotiamine (an amino acid) which is very beneficial for the heart. 

There are also another 15 things which I have learned during the year so far….

1. Sweetcorn – Packed with chromium which lowers the incidence of ticker problems.
2. Kiwi fruit – This reduces platelet clumping by 18%! It means that there is less chance of heart attack and stroke thanks to those delicious little fruit. 
3. Drinking at least 60ml of Pomegranate juice every day lowers blood pressure by around 21%. 
4. Healthy bones, healthy heart.  You are 60% more likely to have a heart attack if you are diagnosed with arthritis so keep the calcium levels up!
5. During winter your blood pressure rises due to the cold as does the risk of clots.  1^ﻩC drop in temperature was associated with a cumulative 2% increase of heart attack so, although obvious, wrap up warm!
6. A glass of red wine a day.  Red wine is rich in anti-oxidants which have a positive effect on cholesterol.
7. It was found people who eat 6 small meals a day have 5% lower cholesterol. 
8. High vitamins in the diet helps.  Even if you take vitamin supplements – it prolongs their effect if your refrigerate them. 
9. Believe it or not, chocolate milkshakes reduces heart attack risks thanks to the cocoa’s anti-inflammatory benefits which reduce the onset of atherosclerosis (build up of cholesterol in the arteries)
10. Bacon rashers contain nitrates.  These nitrates help reduce cardiovascular disease altogether….in moderation of course!
11. Spending 5 bouts of 20 minutes in the sunshine a day.  The vitamin D benefits and generally is you are doing light to moderate work it helps reduce heart disease by 26%.
12. Brushing your teeth!! Fighting the bacteria in your mouth that causes inflammation reduces heart disease by 70%
13. Vanilla yoghurt helps you avoid heart disease as vanilla has essential anti-oxidants which help reduce inflammation.
14. 3 half hour naps a day? Too good to be true?  Well according to research in the archives of internal medicine, napping for half an hour 3 times a day can decrease the risk of heart disease by 30%.
15. A glass of milk a day keeps hypertension at bay.  Hypertension (high blood pressure) is the main cause of stroke and heart attack. 

I hope this has been helpful!

Much love,

Jackson L.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         

Yeah...thanks!

I feel as though my weekend was completely wasted doing something I really wish I did not have to do.  It was on Saturday as well so it was pretty much the only stress free day of the whole weekend, unless of course you have Monday off.  This incident really got me thinking more about certain things and I have come to realise that there are certain people who are total cunts.  Even those who are very close to you.  I may be being a little too over dramatic but this incident has had me thinking over the last few days and had it been much worse, I would have well and truly been fucked! Fucked!!

What had happened was completely my fault.  It takes a measure of a man to admit when they are wrong or have done something wrong and I am completely liable. 

I thought I dropped my keys in the car after having come back home from a quiet night out in Edgware road on Friday night.  I was searching for them and I could not see a thing, so I switched on the lights in the car and did not find them.  I later found my keys in my left coat pocket and locked the car and made my way back to the flat.  Unfortunately, I realized the next morning that I had left the lights on in the car, draining the battery.  The car engine would not start due to the dead battery.  This caused a crazy ripple that crippled my whole day.  Who would have thought it?  Something so easy to fix – jump start the car – and it took me nearly 6+ hours to do as no one was willing to help.  I had already had plans to see more of London, visit the museums (Imperial War museum and Natural History museum) as well as an Art Gallery (The National Gallery) and maybe get a spot of shopping done.  Thanks to all those who really do exhibit community spirit(!) I was unable to do any of these things. 

I tried everything. 

My first, and most obvious port of call was the local mechanic.  To say this mechanic’s garage was local would be a catastrophic under statement.  It is literally a 30 second walk from the flat.  We went there explaining that our car battery was dead and needed simple jump start.  Even if they could just supply us with the necessary equipment – jump leads – to connect the battery of our car and a car with a functional battery.  After a ten minute or so wait the manager came out and gave tremendously cuntish excuses like we don’t do jump starts, we are under staffed, we don’t have a car to take around to your street, I have a tiny knob. 

You will later understand my frustration as to why these guys really should have delivered.  It was just pathetic of them not to be able to do the decent thing to help us out a little.  We were even willing to pay!  What a father-fucking bag of shit eating faggot!

My next bright idea was to go and visit our neighbours to see if they were able to help.  The first people we went to I know would have helped had they had a set of those elusive jump leads but, unfortunately, they, like us, did not.  The rest of our neighbours did not help much either.  At least our first neighbours gave us suggestions but, the rest were just plain dismissive.  Well, thanks for your neighbourhood fortitude!  Bastards.

I then sent a text message to a family member.  They live fairly local to us.  Just a town away and we have always been quick to help them out when they are in a rut; from baby sitting to keeping their mail in order and more.  They still use our freaking garage! I also remember them saying that if we ever needed anything, they were just a call away.  Calling them on phones that just rang out as well as sending texts which have STILL not received a response!  Yeah.  Way to help us. 

We decided it was rather futile having waited for over an hour so we tried one more thing.  Our plumber.  A total stranger who had been into our home once or twice.  When I was calling him, hearing the ring ring of the telephone line and waiting for him to pick up I had the feeling of false optimism.  A feeble hope that he may be able to do something.  He picked up.  I explained the situation.  He responded with “I will be there within half an hour.  I just need to find some jump leads.”  Fucking jump leads!! 

This total hero plumber, almost as good a Mario, arrived 20 minutes later, even sooner than we expected.  He connected the car batteries and turned the ignition and literally a split second later our car battery was working and the engine was working!  He made a 20 minute journey to us for a split second and refused payment saying “Hey, shit happens!” and a mechanic could not take about 2 minutes, actually just 2 minutes, out of his day to do the decent thing!  We thanked him for his time and he said if we ever needed anything at all to call him.  What a legend!

By this point it was deep into Saturday evening and the whole day was wasted. 

It got me thinking a lot about man’s attitude to their fellow man.  It got me thinking that most people are cunts and that decent, upstanding people who do go out of their way to help others are few and far between and it is just depressing!  I was thinking that all those assholes that did not help me when I needed them do not deserve my time when they need me.  But, then I would be one of those people who just ignore those who are in need of aid, an asshole.  I was raised better than that.  I was also raised to rise above it. 

I had always, in my heart of hearts, had very little faith in humanity as, as aforementioned, this situation could have been something more threatening and I feel I would not have received any help.  This incident reaffirmed my thoughts but, I had always been quietly optimistic in that people will always find the right decorum in a given situation.  The plumber has given me hope, albeit very little. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

Nodol Ni Emit Remmus

The sun is shining the weather is sweet, yeah!

I can smell it!  It is so close now.  I was driving around London pretty much all day yesterday and the weather was just sweet.  It was so good to see the sun out.  I was actually in a tight T! Yeah, I smell a very familiar and welcome smell of summer.  I know you may think it is miles away, but, is it really?  We are already coming towards the close of February.   There really is not much left until we are back into the summer months and life is even sweeter! 

I can’t wait for the summer.  It will be my first proper summer in London.  It reminds me of the Chilis song ‘Emit Remmus'.  There is something really rather majestic about London in the summer.  Everything just seems so much more overwhelming.  The sights look even more regal in the sunshine.  Sights like Big Ben with the flag humbly blowing in the wind.  The smells are more intense, for example the smell throughout the London underground.  It just smells of being on holiday the whole time.  Other attractions such as the markets in Camden Town become more lively, bohemian and energetic as everyone is out enjoying the great weather.  The atmosphere in Camden is grand during the summer time.  Walks in Hyde Park during the day and night time can be spent walking up and down London Bridge to see all of London’s lights. 

Oxford Street

,

Regent Street

,

Leicester Square

, Piccadilly Circus,

Trafalgar Square

during the day is amassed with hordes of people. As is Harrods, but Harrods is like that all year round.   

Park Lane

and Mayfair and South Kensington are just beautiful at night.  Excellent night life in these areas….who cares about expense when its THAT good??  Women wear less, like summer is a natural aphrodisiac.  Other nights spent smoking shish for a sweet taste of various fruit. 

It is also the season of music festivals.  British music festivals are on the rise and there are so many people going.  It is one of the many ways to sit back during the summer with a group of friends with banter flying around, and think “I love this.” And its even better at night with a cigar. 

There is so much more to do! I have barely even scratched the surface!

One of the things I am most relishing is when my friend Brian Fox comes down to visit.  We are going to do EVERYTHING. 

Fucking love the summer!!!

Much love,

Jackson L.

It is funny and I will laugh.

There are many things that make life so much more enjoyable.  For me, trying my best to fill my day with laughter is the best way to fill it.  I have recently discovered, thanks to a friend I have recently made – we will call her Lauren Blue – who taught me that one of the best ways to do this is by being quite spontaneous, outrageous and daring.

We have recently been placed in the same office.  We also just got chastised by a learned Professor.  It honestly felt like we were in school again but it was funny.  Over the last two days we have been brainstorming and performing comical incidents. 

1. We have an office with literally hundreds of books.  Books that we do not use, except for playing Jenga. 
2. Go up to a total random and ask “Is your name Craig?” whatever their response is just say “So?”
3. Ask a mere acquaintance “How has your day been?” and just as they begin to answer interrupt abruptly by saying “Actually, I really don’t care!”
4. If your office is on a long corridor that has an echo, develop the most eerie noise you can using your voice and call someone’s name in another office.  Make sure it is loud and no one sees you do it.  Deny all knowledge. 
5. Plan to ignore someone completely when they walk into an office.  Keep a straight face as if nothing has changed.  Even start a conversation with some else completely.
6. Ask people if they want a cup of tea from the communal kitchen.  Return to the office and make none for anybody.  When asked where their tea is just say “Oh, I thought you were going to make me one?” Meanwhile you take a gulp from you warm cup of tea. 
7. Claim you invented something like the question mark.  Find an elaborate reason as to how you came about your alleged creation – “I was fishing one day in the great rapids of Michigan and I found that there was no fish hooking.  The hook represents the upper part of the mark and the dot represents all the fish that got away leaving you questioning ‘why can’t I land a catch?’ hence QUESTION MARK”.  When people doubt your story just implore them to come up with a better story.  9/10 they can’t and if they do just say “You don’t know!”
8. This one is particularly funny.  Find a bucket and make sure no one sees you take it.  Fill the bucket up with water, about ¾ full.  Again, make sure no one knows you have the bucket of water or anything.  Balance the bucket of water against a door so that it is leaning on the door and profusely knock and run away.  Make sure no one sees you! As the door opens, water.  Everywhere.  Laughter ensues. 
9. Send a long email about thee most boring thing.
10. Skip from place to place.  Actually skip.  The most socially unacceptable mode of motion….AND you’re doing it. 
11. Bring in a very herby meal for others to share with you.  If one of those who eat the meal gets a herb stuck in their teeth tell them nothing.  Also try and make them laugh a lot so everyone can see. 
12. Hide trivial things like hole-punches and staplers.  Also take out the staples, leaving 2 or 3 staples.  Repeat daily. 
13. One thing that REALLY pisses me off is when you want to print off a single document paper.  Someone is hogging it and printing off 100 page document.  Wait for the document to finish printing and take it to the owner’s desk as you walk up make it obvious that you are changing the order of the document.
14. Phone up someone’s extension.  Just exclaim “HELLO!” pretend for about a minute or so not to hear what is going on.  After that, when they have also raised their voice just say normally “Why are you shouting?”  See where the conversation goes.  If they say something like “I think you have the wrong number.”  Just reply with “You phoned me!” But, try and keep a decent conversation.  Ask what they are wearing. 
15. Blame EVERYTHING on the government.  But, silly things like why you were late, ill, weather, lack of office stationary, slow internet.  Everything. 
16. Always have the opposite opinion to whoever you are talking to.  If you mention an opinion which people agree with, quickly and obviously change your opinion.  When you get asked defensively state “I would NEVER be of that opinion! It’s disgusting!”
17. Mention how something as inconsequential as drawing the blinds changed everything!  “I will not get my fix of Vitamin D which will cause brittle bones.  This can lead to me breaking my legs and hips when I’m 90.  Do you want that on your conscience? Do you? Do you?”  Try and repeat ‘Do you?’ as many times as you can.  Even if it means interrupting them. 
18. Try and quote as many obvious song lyrics in a conversation as you can.  Always finish off with “…and nothing else matters.”
19. Try your best to incite an office war.  Kind of like fight club, when they have to start a fight and lose but make sure you win.  Good ammunition: rubbers, pens, scrunched up paper balls etc.  Lever arch folders are good shields. 
20. When speaking to someone new in the office, try and make subtle but noticeable changes to your accent every time you speak to them make sure that they are outlandishly different to your actual accent.  About a week later just speak to them normally.  If they ask just claim you have no idea what they are talking about. 

Have fun with these!

Much love,

Jackson L.

I'm so appalled.

There are so many outrageous things in today’s world that is just insanely disgraceful and just plain offensive that it, rather depressingly, comes as no shock anymore.  Things like extremism, racism and, is it just me or are there more instances of murder, rape and fraud?  I find this so hysterically appalling!  At the same time, I am not surprised because every time I read, listen to or watch the news there are ALWAYS awful bulletins.  I know this may sound like a stupid thing to say but the frequency of terrible news that we are subjected to could drive people to madness.  Or could it be to incite fear?

Despite being sickened by all the bad, there are some items in the news that just makes you think –

“You ungrateful over-privileged douche!  You do not deserve the life you have clearly taken for granted!”

I read in the news a week or so ago about an Oxford University law graduate who failed a professional exam and she then went on to sue her tutors at Oxford University.  Her argument was that she believes she was not well taught by her tutors and failed her exam as a result.  She is suing for £100000 in damages.  One hundred THOUSAND pounds.  Damages?  Apart from your pathetic ego and maybe going through the hardship of having to study for a brutal battery of exams – what possible damages could have been caused?! You failed.  It was your own fault.  You have, clearly, never failed before in anything you have ever done and it is extremely childish of you to not pucker up and deal with it they way an adult would – Build on your mistakes and move on!  Woman, you are a graduate from one of, if not, thee best law school in the country!  Why are you blaming your failure on others?  What, did your tutors not give you the answers to the questions?  How pitiable are you?  Life is not a smooth, easy, free ride in a Maybach!  There are always going to be speed bumps and potholes that will rock your world!  Deal with it! You are clearly intelligent, so have the sensibility to not be a sulky little dick!

You would think, hope even, that it does not get any worse than this.  Oh, but it does. 

I later, in the same week read about a man.  A very fat man.  He was around 21 stone, 133 Kg (293 lbs) and he was a diabetic individual.  He seemed to be struggling to lose the weight he had put on and it got so serious for him that, as a result, he developed type 2 diabetes.  When I read the article about this man, when he was interviewed, it seemed to me that he had adopted a rather whiney tone.  As if he was complaining.  What this morbidly obese man wanted to do was get a gastric band on the NHS.  He wanted to get an operation FREE OF CHARGE because he was unable to lose the weight.  He was told that he was too light, believe it or not, and therefore, does not qualify for this operation on the NHS.  He would have to get it done privately if he wanted to get it done at his current weight.  What was his next move?  To put the weight on.  He is going out of his way to become unhealthier so that he can get a free operation which will be covered by the tax payers of the UK.  He is going to gain 4 stone (25 Kg) just so that he can get his gastric band in for free!  What an audacious, cunting prick!  What a total knob ache!  Not only will he be draining the NHS of around £6000, just because he WON’T put the fork down and he WON’T go for a walk, but he was complaining about having to put the weight on!  In addition to this, he is diabetic.  A diabetic individual must be even more cautious about their weight and what they eat as it could have a detrimental effect on their health causing either blindness or the need to amputate a leg.  This is not a joke.  Also, he can, and most likely will, have cardiovascular health defects which all will cause more strain on the NHS budget.  If everyone thought like him, Britain would not offer free health service which has been viewed as shit by many people but, it is such a great service to know that you have available and can rely on.  I believe him to be an arrogant cunt and I would rather see him lose weight naturally than do it the lazy way.  I think the gastric bands, on the NHS, is a ridiculous notion altogether.  There are things like vaccines for the human papillomavirus (HPV) which should be available to both men and women, rather than just women, which should be covered by the NHS and it is not.  Due to the increase in sexual expression HMP have managed to become a vast strain of virus which has two deadly strains.  These can cause cancer of the throat, colon, cervix and testicles.  It is on the rise and unfortunately, it is deemed by the powers that be at the NHS as an unnecessary nationwide vaccine.  HPV can be inoculated by the vaccine girls get in secondary schools to combat cervical cancer.  It works in both genders and it is not at all expensive! 

There is something to think on.

Much love,

Jackson L. 

You biggots.

I really enjoy the show Top Gear.   I think the premise behind the show is excellent, informative, funny (at times….and those times for me are few and far between) and very culturally moving.  It gives a brilliant insight into how people around our beautiful globe live with keeping in line with the show’s main objectives of comparing different cars.  One of the most outstanding shows of Top Gear, for me was when they journeyed to Vietnam and did their show through the jungle.  I was also very touched when they did their drive through the Middle East – from Erbil in Northern Iraq to a stable in Bethlehem.  It was very poignant and stirring seeing my origins portrayed, for once, in a positive sense rather than as terrorists!

Another aspect I enjoy is watching the celebrity laps.  It really humanises the celebrities who go on and try to complete the lap in as fast a time as possible.  Some of the results are shocking!  Simon Cowell was the fastest in the last series.  Watching Jonathon Ross this season was quite funny as was Rory Bremner. 

I must admit though, I have always felt that the presenters of the show are not nearly worthy of presenting it.  I genuinely think there are much better presenters of that show than the ones currently doing it.  When Richard Hammond, who is, without fail, one of the greatest douches that has ever lived, began to tear into Mexicans and stereotyping them as being ‘lazy and smelly’ just emphasised his grave cuntishness as it was peaking at this point.  And, instead of perhaps swiftly moving on from the racist remarks made on national television, James May, another total cunt joined in the battery of stereotyping.  Unfortunately, Jeremy Clarkson, whom I have never had any respect for in the first place, lowered in my estimation when he also began mocking the Mexicans as well.  Despite Top Gear’s branding of sophistication and appeal to the up market individual (not to mention the years of service to British Television as well as its reputation in Britain) there are many, more narrow minded, easily influenced people who watch it.  If these people see that their role models are casually throwing racial remarks ON TV(!) it just spells out disaster for me.  Celebrities and those who have a following should really be careful of what they are saying. 

To add insult to injury, they went on to describe Albanians as, generally speaking, being car thieves.  A population of car thieves and mafia gangsters.  It doesn’t get any lower than that if you ask me. 

Mr Steve Coogan eloquently described them as “three rich, middle-aged men laughing at poor Mexicans.”  He, with class, berates the Top Gear presenters. 

I’m sure there are people out there that have a few things to say about the three presenters.  I know I do. 

Richard Hammond – You are a small annoying fudd.  You are not funny and you get stupidly excitable over the most pathetically dumb things.  You are extremely juvenile.  You claim to be a road cyclist, which is just a risky move for someone who was in a life threatening car accident WHEN THERE WAS NO TRAFFIC!  I would try and get all the protection I get, ie if I were you I would invest in a tank because a 20 tonne war machine will allow you to go from A to B without the threat of death when you will crash because you most definitely will as you are a shitty driver.  You are not a road cyclist as your colleagues have seen you cycle into work on a mechanical instrument which resembles a FORD MUSTANG.  Dick.

James May – what could be said about thee most boring shit alive?  Well, you are a boring shit.  I would go as far as saying you are thee most boring shit alive.  Please see above for more of the same feelings.  Many expressed there resemble the feelings I have for you as well, except you are not so small. 

Jeremy Clarkson – I do not know how you managed to land the job of virtually every man’s dreams.  I suspect it has something to do with your parents’ strong relationship with the BBC as they are the ones who created Paddington Bear? I do not resent you for it though.  I thought you were doing a pretty decent job of it until I realised that you are obscenely overhyped and overrated and, like Andy Carroll, overpaid.  You are a PhD in Engineering….how else could you have got this job?  It’s like getting a cremator to be a football pundit.  Your opinions on cars are so insanely stupid and what’s worse is that people actually take your opinion and make it their own.  Opinions like “I do not like Honda because it is Japenese.”  Well, I do not like you, not because you are British, but because you are an overgrown, overweight, over privileged cock with stupid opinions which appeals to the masses that have no opinions of their own and express yours to form perceived individualism.  These same people try and be edgy and claim they watch your show ironically and don’t actually like it but in actuality would not miss the show for the world.  You are a shit.  The sooner you realise that the better place the world would be.  You try to be funny at the most ridiculous times and at the best of times you are just a knob.  You need to get a life and stop being such a conservative.  Not everyone is well off.  Just because you are it does not warrant you taking the piss out of those who are not. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

More than meets the eye

Have you guys ever sat and wondered why the most common symbols used by many of the largest corporations use similar symbols?  I have always wondered as a child why certain symbols were associated with certain companies.  I then found myself shrugging my shoulders and carrying on with my life. 

I did, over the weekend, find this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb1oi3Ucje0

It gave me a different point of view, though, I did not buy into all of it, I thought it was a very interesting view point.  It is definitely out of the box thinking and I like that which is why I feel I enjoyed the video so much.  It was very well made. 

Let me know your thoughts.

Much love,

Jackson L.

I will fight you.

I would like to thank Mr Brian Fox for the inspiration of this next blog. 

Here is a list of celebrities I want to either fight or see in Guantanamo bay –

1. Alastair Darling
2. Alexandra Burke
3. Allen Hansen  
4. Amanda Holden
5. Andy Gray
6. Ann Robinson
7. Ashley Cole
8. Ashton Kutcher
9. Ben Affleck
10. Ben Stiller
11. Blue ((Gay) Boy band)
12. Bob Geldof
13. Bono
14. Casey Affleck
15. Catherine Zeta Jones
16. Channing Tatum
17. Cher Lloyd
18. Cheryl Cole
19. Christiano Ronaldo
20. Colin Farrell
21. Courtney Cox
22. Clive Owen
23. Dane Cook
24. Daniel Craig
25. Daniel Radcliffe
26. Danny Cipriani
27. Danny Dyer. Wanker.
28. Dappy from N-Dubz.  Apparently he is a father.  Wouldn’t it be the worst to be his child?
29. David Harnett.  What a twat.  Imagine not apologising for doing your job incorrectly and screwing the public out of money.  Total dick!
30. Dirk Kuyt
31. David Cameron
32. Ewan McGregor
33. Gordon Brown
34. Anyone who has any sort of affiliation to Glee
35. Gleeks
36. The Gyllenhaal siblings.  Literally thee worst human beings on Earth.  Even their parents hate them…..I’m sure.
37. Hayden Christensen
38. Hayden Christensen again
39. Ja Rule
40. James May
41. Jamie Carragher
42. Jayden Smith
43. Jedward.  I would fight them both at the same time.  I would kick six shades of shit outta them!
44. Jesse Metcalfe
45. Jeremy Clarkson.  You are NOT funny. 
46. John and Joan Cusack (they are so terrible.)
47. Jordan
48. Justin Beiber
49. Kate Hudson.  Your mum is hotter than you.  Tragic. 
50. Katherine Heigl
51. Kerry Katona
52. Ke$sha…..on the premise of her spelling of her name alone. 
53. Kid Rock
54. Kim Cattrall
55. Khole Kardashian
56. Kim Kardashian
57. Kourtney Kardashian
58. Lady Gaga
59. Lewis Moody
60. Lilly Allen – You are not as good as you thing you are.  You put down people who are far superior to you.  I hate you. 
61. Lisa Kudrow
62. Louis Walsh
63. The Lohans
64. Luke Wilson
65. Madonna I am not even going to bother explaining how much of a shit I think she is. 
66. Mark Zucherberg
67. Maroon 5.  Please stop making music.  Please.
68. Matt Banahan
69. Michael Cera
70. Naomi Campbell
71. Nani
72. Nick Easter
73. Nicolas Cage
74. Nicole Richie
75. Owen Wilson
76. Paris Hilton
77. Paul Walker
78. Peaches Geldof
79. Peter Andre
80. Perez Hilton
81. Pink
82. Queen Latifah
83. Rafael Benitez
84. Reese Witherspoon
85. Rhianna
86. Rio Ferdinand
87. Richard Hammond
88. Rob Schneider
89. Robbie Keane
90. Robbie Williams.  You are not a bad ass. 
91. Sarah Jessica Parker
92. Seth Rogan
93. Shontayne Hape
94. Steve Borthwick
95. Steve Thomson
96. Steven Gerard
97. Teri Hatcher
98. Terry Jones
99. Toby Flood
100. Tom Cruise.  God, I feel sorry for Katie Holmes.  She is married to the shortest cunt ever. 
101. Tom Voyce
102. Vince Vaughn
103. Wayne Rooney
104. Willow Smith.  I do not care what you do with your hair.  Stop trying to be Rhianna too!
105. Zac Efron