Tuesday 8 February 2011

You biggots.

I really enjoy the show Top Gear.   I think the premise behind the show is excellent, informative, funny (at times….and those times for me are few and far between) and very culturally moving.  It gives a brilliant insight into how people around our beautiful globe live with keeping in line with the show’s main objectives of comparing different cars.  One of the most outstanding shows of Top Gear, for me was when they journeyed to Vietnam and did their show through the jungle.  I was also very touched when they did their drive through the Middle East – from Erbil in Northern Iraq to a stable in Bethlehem.  It was very poignant and stirring seeing my origins portrayed, for once, in a positive sense rather than as terrorists!

Another aspect I enjoy is watching the celebrity laps.  It really humanises the celebrities who go on and try to complete the lap in as fast a time as possible.  Some of the results are shocking!  Simon Cowell was the fastest in the last series.  Watching Jonathon Ross this season was quite funny as was Rory Bremner. 

I must admit though, I have always felt that the presenters of the show are not nearly worthy of presenting it.  I genuinely think there are much better presenters of that show than the ones currently doing it.  When Richard Hammond, who is, without fail, one of the greatest douches that has ever lived, began to tear into Mexicans and stereotyping them as being ‘lazy and smelly’ just emphasised his grave cuntishness as it was peaking at this point.  And, instead of perhaps swiftly moving on from the racist remarks made on national television, James May, another total cunt joined in the battery of stereotyping.  Unfortunately, Jeremy Clarkson, whom I have never had any respect for in the first place, lowered in my estimation when he also began mocking the Mexicans as well.  Despite Top Gear’s branding of sophistication and appeal to the up market individual (not to mention the years of service to British Television as well as its reputation in Britain) there are many, more narrow minded, easily influenced people who watch it.  If these people see that their role models are casually throwing racial remarks ON TV(!) it just spells out disaster for me.  Celebrities and those who have a following should really be careful of what they are saying. 

To add insult to injury, they went on to describe Albanians as, generally speaking, being car thieves.  A population of car thieves and mafia gangsters.  It doesn’t get any lower than that if you ask me. 

Mr Steve Coogan eloquently described them as “three rich, middle-aged men laughing at poor Mexicans.”  He, with class, berates the Top Gear presenters. 

I’m sure there are people out there that have a few things to say about the three presenters.  I know I do. 

Richard Hammond – You are a small annoying fudd.  You are not funny and you get stupidly excitable over the most pathetically dumb things.  You are extremely juvenile.  You claim to be a road cyclist, which is just a risky move for someone who was in a life threatening car accident WHEN THERE WAS NO TRAFFIC!  I would try and get all the protection I get, ie if I were you I would invest in a tank because a 20 tonne war machine will allow you to go from A to B without the threat of death when you will crash because you most definitely will as you are a shitty driver.  You are not a road cyclist as your colleagues have seen you cycle into work on a mechanical instrument which resembles a FORD MUSTANG.  Dick.

James May – what could be said about thee most boring shit alive?  Well, you are a boring shit.  I would go as far as saying you are thee most boring shit alive.  Please see above for more of the same feelings.  Many expressed there resemble the feelings I have for you as well, except you are not so small. 

Jeremy Clarkson – I do not know how you managed to land the job of virtually every man’s dreams.  I suspect it has something to do with your parents’ strong relationship with the BBC as they are the ones who created Paddington Bear? I do not resent you for it though.  I thought you were doing a pretty decent job of it until I realised that you are obscenely overhyped and overrated and, like Andy Carroll, overpaid.  You are a PhD in Engineering….how else could you have got this job?  It’s like getting a cremator to be a football pundit.  Your opinions on cars are so insanely stupid and what’s worse is that people actually take your opinion and make it their own.  Opinions like “I do not like Honda because it is Japenese.”  Well, I do not like you, not because you are British, but because you are an overgrown, overweight, over privileged cock with stupid opinions which appeals to the masses that have no opinions of their own and express yours to form perceived individualism.  These same people try and be edgy and claim they watch your show ironically and don’t actually like it but in actuality would not miss the show for the world.  You are a shit.  The sooner you realise that the better place the world would be.  You try to be funny at the most ridiculous times and at the best of times you are just a knob.  You need to get a life and stop being such a conservative.  Not everyone is well off.  Just because you are it does not warrant you taking the piss out of those who are not. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

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