The Fuck Facebook Campaign.

So I have done it.  I have got rid of Facebook.  It is my first day since getting rid of it and I think it is actually quite weird.  To go from checking Facebook every time I got a spare moment, or a wave of what I like to call ‘micro boredom ‘, to just quickly check up on my phone to nothing at all(!) is like a total, overnight, change in lifestyle.  I have now been thee most Facebook free since before having it and it is actually one of those resonating feelings of superiority.  

My reasons for getting rid of Facebook are 6 fold –

1.       Status updates.  How many times have you seen the shittiest status update on Facebook and thought – ‘that was so bad…SO BAD that I think I just got cancer.’  Stupid stuff like – “I’m eating toast with jam and butter” or “Just home” or something extra shit like “I <3 my gf”.  Don’t even get me started on people with political opinions!  Fuck!  I have never seen arguments as heated as the arguments I have seen on Facebook and that, for me is a really BOLD statement as I come from one of the most dysfunctional families to have walked the Earth.  Not to mention the amount of times people would share with their 712 friends that they had just failed their driving test…..I usually click the ‘Like’ function and the post a comment which states “hahahahahahhahahaahahaa!”

2.       Random people.  Ok, I met you at a party and I employed my more adorable, kind natured qualities.  I spoke to you for all of five minutes, had a good chuckle – usually at other people’s expense – and then carried on with my life.  This is not an invite for you to track me down on Facebook and then add me.  I always thought that was stupid.  It was creepy as well.  I hardly know you and I don’t want to be one of several hundred people on your friends list that you don’t really know.  We would not be the definition of friends….we are merely acquaintances.  Imagine adding someone as a friend – a person you would like to keep in touch with – after having only spoken to them for a few minutes.  ‘Well done, you are one of many douchebags that has more friends on Facebook than there are days in the year.  Your classification befits a sad, sad, pathetic wanker. 

3.       Doppelganger week, the NSPCC cartoon thing, all the other stupid trends set by a bunch of knobs that have too much time on Facebook. 

4.       The fact people know EVERYTHING about you and you have never met them.  That is beyond scary.  It is just weird and it is borderline stalking! 

5.       The thing that annoys me most is the fakery on Facebook.  People always seem so much more different on Facebook than they do for real.  Also, those who set up two accounts so that ‘their family see one and their friends see them for real’……I’m sure I do not need to go into too much detail about my thoughts and estimations of people like that but, have no illusion, there are people that do that.  You are the pinnacle of fake.  I have very low estimations of you and virtually nothing to say.  Sort your life out you insecure dick. Suck my balls. 

6.       The games people play – Farmville, Mob Wars, Millionaire City etc etc.  Sad fucks.  ‘Help Claire achieve green farmer of the day’ …..Get to fuck. 

Join me in the fuck Facebook campaign.  Facebook is shit.  You know it. 

I have all my important people's numbers.  That is and always will be the best way to keep in touch with my allies.

FUCK FACEBOOK!

Much love,

Jackson L.

Visitations

So my parents have decided to come on down to London and stay with me.  I must say it is always nice to be with parents but, lately they have really been getting on my nerves.  Yesterday really pissed me off.  I came home after a day in the office having only had about 2 hours sleep (my own fault) and I didn’t want to do anything except nap, which I did.  Though, before I did go for my nap, I was asked by my dad if I wanted to go for a walk in central London…………..

I slept.  I know I maybe should have gone out to enjoy the bright, sunny day, but I had enjoyed the weekend by being out in the open, running and doing my thing. I napped. 

Meanwhile both my parents had left me alone in the quiet to recharge my batteries. 

I overslept, naturally.  Wouldn’t you?!  I had nothing else to do that day!  Don’t judge!!!  I came around when my parents, several hours later decided to stroll in….I say ‘stroll’ it was more of a frantic gesture.  I awoke to a very pungent, bitter smell.  I was actually offended.  I then overheard my mother claim that she had tried to phone me several times, which she did, to alert me that she had left the stove on.  I still do not know what she had left on but, my god was it was smelly. 

I had no sense of what was going on as:-

1. I am a heavy sleeper.
2. I had my room door closed and the windows open.  It was hot!
3. Most importantly, I AM A HEAVY SLEEPER!!!

So I could not smell anything as the door was closed and fresh air was rolling down my window.  It wasn’t until my door was opened and when I awoke I smelt it all.

I got out of bed to assess the situation and enquire as to what had just happened.  I was informed, after being on the receiving end of some piercing looks from both my parents which suggest that it was MY fault that I nearly burned the fucking house down and killed myself, that it was indeed my mother who had left the stove on.  Yeah, apparently it was my fault my mum is a retard. 

At dinner, I was asked if I did at all hear my phone or the house phone ring, to which my response to the inquisitor was, “Do you actually know me?!  I am a heavy sleeper!”

The rest of the chat at dinner was about as entertaining as being gang raped by a horde of barbarians. 

I hate more than anything being victimised for something which had nothing to do with me.  Yes, maybe I should have been a little bit more alert, however, what if I had gone for that walk with my parents?  They would have probably found some way to blame me still. 

So, this and their constant trying to teach me how to drive – despite me being the only member in a family of five NOT to have been involved in a car accident – and many other things is actually causing me to develop cancer slowly, painfully, surely.  I am starting to enjoy their visit less and less.  They have thrown a monkey wrench in my whole program. 

I did enjoy the visit of one of my good friends recently.  He arrived in London exceptionally early one Friday morning and we got up to all sorts of kick ass things.   It felt strange to be hanging out with one of my good friends from home in a different city.  It was a good ‘strange’ feeling and I actually discovered a few things about London that I had never seen before as well as tried some different eateries as well.  We walked everywhere too! On average we walked about 5 or 6 miles per day so we didn’t feel too guilty about being over indulgent…..Gelato and Cinnabon!

We both agreed that we wish we had much more money.  There is just too much to do in London and not enough money in the world it would seem! 

This brings me nicely onto my next point – my parents were saying this the other day –

“It is a wonderful thing to be able to afford all you desire, but money is not the route to all happiness.”

I said –

“I like the round-about way in which you articulated that lame cliché, but I would rather be crying in my Ferrari, thank you, good night!”

Much love,

Jackson L. 

Kindle me, baby!!

I really want a Kindle.  There are so many books that I really want to read and I have not yet got around to reading yet because I am an uncultured fuck.  A kindle would be a great way to get all he books I want without taking up too much space AND the kindle book prices are at reduced prices.  

I wouldn’t even know where to being in terms of which books to get.  There are a whole bunch of classics which you can get for free, for example Bram Stoker’s Dracula, which I have read before but I think, like every movie collection should have Shawshank Redemption, every book collection should have the original Dracula.  Speaking of books I have already read, I would definitely want to get Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.  It is one of the funniest books I have read – like laugh out loud (‘LOL’ as complete turd stains would say) funny. 

I really want to get all of J.R.R Tolkien’s books.  I have read The Hobbit before and Lord of the Rings as well but I really want to read The Similarion.  I did not realise this was supposed to be a prequel to Lord of the Rings.  I would love to read the rest as I have forgotten most of them.  The movies were exceptional at bringing it all to life but really left out a lot.  I understand that Peter Jackson is directing/producing The Hobbit and I would love to see The Similarion on the big screen if these works are anything to go by. 

I would also like to read Yes Man by Danny Wallace.  I thought the film starring Jim Carrey was really funny and the premise behind it is actually very simple yet complete genius.  I wonder if the film did the book justice as usually it is not the case.  I read How to Lose Friends and Alienate People by Toby Young and I wish I watched the film first as many thought it was good and I thought it was garbage compared to the book. 

I would also like to read the book that the movie The Rite was based on – The Rite: The Making of a Modern Exorcist.  The only good thing about that film was Anthony Hopkins and I have heard that the book is really very good. 

Another film that was made due to the success of a book was the film ‘Limitless’.  The book, The Dark Fields by Alan Glynn would be interesting as the film really had me by the balls from the get go.  It got right into it and I was sat there thinking “Woah. Imagine if…” 

The list is endless when it comes to the classics.  There are just too many books that I want to read.  Just as well the Kindle can hold up to 4000 books at any one time. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

X and other things.

Friends, 

I apologise for not having kept you up to date on my thoughts and doings of late.  I had taken a little break back to X.  I did return to a shocking sum of emails about my blog.  It was actually quite amazing.  I am used to maybe one or two every few weeks.  Anyway, the emails were either emails of praise, some stating they find my ‘dry humour too funny for words’ which left me smiling.  Some said they did not know that others shared in my opinions about certain things to which I responded ‘You are NEVER alone.’  Of the twentysomething emails I did receive however, about 6 of them were emails of praise.  I responded to all of them enthusiastically as they had taken time out of their day – albeit 2 minutes – to explain the enjoyment they get from my ramblings.  This bodes only too well with me.  The rest were emails of futile resistance to my commanding judgments.  Some were so offended at my opinions that, I’m sure if they were in a room with me they would actually try to fight me.  They would lose.  But still, they would try.  As I said, futile.  One dude was talking about how he believes that I am a ‘dickhead with backward views’ and that I ‘suck hard cock’.  He then went on to say how he loves his girlfriend; whom in my view must be the fattest, balding, alcoholic, ginger, penis wielding, genital wart possessing, ugly cunt…who he had probably knocked up, and that he found my blog about Ugg boots offensive as his girlfriend wears them and he took personal offense to it.  Now, I am going to tell you that this was the harshest email and it was the only negative email I did respond to.  The rest of them were all generic ‘I can’t believe you would say that.’ type of emails.  It felt like I was being chastised by my parents!  To which I will say now:-

GET A SENSE OF HUMOUR, FUCKHEAD!

So my response to this chump who must think he is the man just because he is probably a 17 year old and has a girlfriend and is probably untouchable at school but, is yet to realise that there are people out there, like my good self, that can fuck him up six way from Sunday and still have the energy to knock 14 shades of shit out of him the next day….went a little something like this –

“Hello,

Thank you for taking the time out of your somewhat pathetic life to send me the biggest load of bullshit I have ever read.  I will first start by saying – I am not your father so I do not suck hard cock.  Though, by the sounds of it, it must run in your family, you cock sucking shit bag.   

From your email I can tell you are either a 17 year old asshole who is just about to finish school and thinks he is the man, and let me tell you, you are not(!) or you are a man with the most feeble IQ levels imaginable.  You are probably the type of person who watches Deal or No deal and actually gets a general feeling of acquaintance from the contestants as you can’t make real friends of your own.  Your insecurities are further emphasised at the constant mention of your tragic sounding girlfriend.  Ok, you have a girlfriend, fucking well done!  Just because she wears Ugg boots does not mean I am not entitled to my opinions that Ugg boots are shit.  The very fact that you took offense to the mention of Ugg boots are the most abhorrent items of footwear ever created in history makes you the biggest pussy I have ever had the displeasure of communicating with. 

You need to grow a pair of balls, mate.  But for now, you can suck on mine. 

Much love,

Jackson L.”

I believe I have firmly put him in his place which is nothing short of what he deserves.  When I first started this blog, I knew that there were going to be people who will not agree with my methods of expression and my points of view and I still appreciate all those who take the time to say that (politely) but to come out and try and have a go at me?  I will not stand for that and I will take you down.  Cunt!

On a brighter note, I had a good time when I was back in X.  It was weird though, usually I would be very excited – even on the journey there – but I was actually only excited as it was my first time travelling 1^st class on the train….or any medium of transport ever for that matter. 

Before you think ‘pretentious bastard’, which I am, the reason as to why a 1^st class ticket was acquired was because, somehow a 1^st class ticket was £17 CHEAPER than a standard.  I guess I got lucky due to supply and demand.  Y’all smart people, you figure it out!  It felt right stepping on in my Harris Tweed.

Anyway, this came with a 4 course breakfast which I thought was KOOL!  It started with cereal, then cheese and crackers followed by smoked salmon and scrambled eggs and finally a full English breakfast!  Throughout the journey there were tea and coffee and juices constantly being given.  My cup and glass was never empty.  If your get the chance ALWAYS travel 1^st class.  It is the best way. 

I guess when I got there I was not really feeling anything because I was so tired and it was the first train out of London – 5.39 AM.  I was going to sleep on the train but this dude kept talking to me.  He was a nice guy but I don’t think he got the hints – one word answers, avoiding eye contact – so I just thought, ‘fuck it!’ And spoke to him for the remainder of the journey. 

After spending time with my parents and Brian Fox and, having survived on less than an hours sleep that day I decided to call it a night.  I woke up the next day feeling fresh and good about waking up in MY bed and suddenly I got the feeling of “I’m excited to be here and can’t wait to catch up with everyone!” I was looking for.  Unfortunately it was a brief stay in X but, I saw most of the people I usually go up to see, most important Mr Fox.  My thanks go to him as he is in the midst of his exam diet and yet still made time for me.  We did our usual of just hanging out.  Typically we watch shitty movies on the Horror channel or the Sci-fi channel.  We watched the Titanic 2….to say it was shit would be a catastrophic understatement.  Though, I thoroughly enjoyed it as hilarity ensued.

As I returned to London, I was once again left feeling somber thinking of all those who I am not going to see for sometime but, with a glimmer of happiness as soon Brian will make his debut in London with me!  Oh yeah, its gonna be sweet!

I also did not realise the hysteria surrounding the royal wedding that had amassed since my leave.  Some people have been camping out already to get a good view of the wedding. 

I want to go up to these people and throw up on them just to let them know that is what I think of them. 

Much love,

Jackson L. 

Headstrong.

I was thinking about this the other day after speaking to Brian Fox on the phone.  I realised that there are certain traits which I had developed from my years of playing rugby and constantly being in a team environment and also from those who have been there and done that (so to speak).  I used to not be as mentally strong as I feel I am now and I actually think I owe a lot to Brian.  He seems to be leaps and bounds ahead of me when in comes to being willful. 

I mentioned to him something which I wish I can tell my-14-year-old-self –

“Take it one step at a time.  Worry about things as they come.” 

I’m sure he already knew that but, I felt it was worth mentioning at the time as he has more than a lot on his plate at the moment. 

Later on, when I went to bed I actually thought of several characteristics which I have implemented in order to be a little more determined. 

Here are my 5 tips to be more head strong –

1.      Put teammates first.

I’ll be honest – when I used to play rugby I always used to think of myself as a big gun on the pitch.  I used to ball hog all the time and hunt for personal glory every time I played.  I wanted to score the tries, I wanted to be the hero, I wanted to be the man.  However, when I got to the bigger leagues, I was now small fry compared to the other 14 big guns on the pitch.  I felt I was a run of the mill, nothing special, just there to make up the numbers player….I guess it was my drive to make the difference which made me better.  I changed my game.  I put the team and my teammates first and, naturally, all the glory came.  This is an exoteric responsibility - that is, 'imparting to someone else' and it's missing from our culture. When you are acting exoterically, you are acting ethically.

2.  Second guess yourself

We all have doubt.  We all think terrible things that make us want to quit or give up something that is important to us.  It happens to the best of us.  Instinct is a great thing but, sometimes when you really assess a situation, your second or third thought is the real you. 

3.      Don’t be afraid of fear.

Fear is something that everyone goes through but some are overwhelmed by it.  Fear is an experience; like fun, good times, the bad, heartbreak, joy etc.  Reach out to friends/family and share it.  You get plenty of positive energy from it all.  Some of the best advice I have had is from approaching people out of fear. 

4.   Break big goals into small targets.

      This is the golden one, for me.  I wish I had been taught this as a child.  I think life would have been different.  I think big.  I think I have with most things and there is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking big.  If anything, I think everyone should, however, the crime would be to think big and achieve nothing.  Small, realistic targets that will stretch your abilities a little is how, I feel, will get your to your goal.

“There is no one giant step that does it.  It is a lot of little steps.” – Peter A. Cohen.

5.      Have faith in yourself.

This is a paramount brick in the wall that is your resolve.  The belief that you can do it is usually what sees people through.  Mind over matter prevails.  I am not going to be one of those douche bags that is going to use the phrase “nothing is impossible” because there are things that are impossible.  For example, go and eat Stonehenge.  Yeah, I bet you can’t do that!

Faith is something everyone should have in themselves. 

With all this, I would hope one gets more out of life or at least, like I have, have a different outlook on life.  It could bring you one step closer, or shove you into happiness in life.  This reminds me of an incredible story John Lennon told -

"My mother always used to tell me 'Son, happiness is the key to life.'  When I was asked what I wanted to be in life at school, I wrote 'Happy'.  I was told I didn't understand the assignment.  I told them they didn't understand life."

Much love,

Jackson L. 

Odd socks and headphone trouble.

I was reading the Metro the other day and I saw an article which was describing how a school in southern England was obscenely strict.  The pupils of this particular school were being given detention for wearing odd socks, listening to headphones inside of the school building and not ‘taking their school uniform seriously’.  These rules were implemented in order to allow the pupils to understand that in a real working environment – there is not room to be ‘slacking off’.  At one stage, there were over 300 students who had been given detention as they were all wearing odd socks. 

Now, I believe in discipline.  I think discipline is important in certain aspects in life such as; taking care of one’s self from a health point of view (eating well, regular exercise), cleanliness and undoubtedly adapting behaviour in any given circumstance – you would not adopt the same persona with your best friends as though you were in an office…or at least I wouldn’t.  My comfort zones do not branch out to being boundless in an office environment.  I have tried though and people just don’t seem to understand what I’m all about.  My point is I concur with people who are disciplinarians, like Fabio Capello.  However, at the same time, being punished for wearing odd socks or listening to music when it is perfectly acceptable to listen to music is extreme.  Preparing school kids for something they are no doubt going to eventually learn themselves is just plain stupid.  I am yet to hear of any office manager scrutinising everyone’s socks before they check in for their 9-5 job just to see if they are wearing matching socks made of cashmere and must be designer to quell the need for the manger to shit-can the culprit!  Also, in every office environment I have worked, all two of them, my colleagues ALL have headphones in when they are working away.  From what I have seen it allows people to draw out any external noise, carry on with their work and we all seem a little more productive….so, riddle me that(!) headmaster of some shitty school in Cambridgeshire who seems to be clutching at straws to find something to piss these students off royally. 

I used to have a theory that teachers had quotas to meet with regards to sending kids to detention.  I have had my fare share of detention time where I sat and reflected about how much I hated the teacher that put me there.  My conclusion would often be “what a total dick!” and I would reach that, usually, in the first few seconds of being in detention.  To spite the teacher I would just sleep and not do the work that I had been assigned.  Yeah, badass since the eighties, baby!  In fairness though, I would go to detention for actual, proper reasons, not for trivial bullshit.  My most usual was ‘for disrupting a lesson’….if being myself means I am dysfunctional to normal society, then society can kiss my whole ass!  I have also had ‘foul language’ which was issued to me after the head teacher watched us play a rugby match.  What I had said was “Look at their forwards guys, they are fuckin’ knackered!”  It was bittersweet for me as everyone had seen me kick ass and then DETENTION!  What in the blue fuck was he thinking?!  I know pretty much the WHOLE school was watching and he wanted to make an example but, seriously, it’s not like he has never sworn.  I would go as far as saying I bet he has sworn on some sort of sports field before realising that he was old and crap and bad at sports.  So my reasons were the full fat versions of what these school kids are getting punished for.  I feel for them.  The teachers in that school are just on a power trip/mid-life crisis/contemplating suicide and trying to take as many with them as possible/genuine cunts. 

I almost nearly got ‘dismissed’ from my last day of school because my friends and I were having a bit of fun – kicking a rugby ball around on a rugby pitch.  A member of the ‘senior management team’ – a fancy way of saying ‘elder executive cunt crew’ came up to me, took MY ball away and said – no joke – “this is neither the time nor the place” and walked off with my ball.  That quote is a total gem…for a wanker!  So I took it upon myself to go up to him, take MY ball out of his hands and as I walked away yelled ‘WANKER!’  I did get a total bollocking for that….worth it if you ask me.  Felt good to let him know what I thought of him. 

These are real reasons to be punished.  I guess teachers will try to find anything to be as suppressive of students as possible.  It is becoming an age old trait and it is very, VERY tedious. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I am one of those people who will give credit where credit is due.  Praise is something which can be delivered in several ways – articulating your admiration, showing your admiration (actions speak louder than words) and simply, just looking.  There is something which, I feel, is an immensely mammoth compliment when someone just stares at you.  I used to think, like everyone else, that it was just plain rude.  But, for a positive or negative reason someone is taking time out of their lives to stare at you.  I find it rather contradictory that if you were to stare at a sweet car driving past you and your jaw drops – that seems ok but, if you saw a truly beautiful girl whose true self is not hidden behind a thick layer of make up, well dressed and not so run of the mill – i.e. something annoying like wear Ugg boots.  A rare site indeed. 

I seem to get stared at most when I am on the underground.  You can only read the adverts only so many times, I guess!  I look back and smile.  When I look I try to be subtle but I know for a fact that I am just not discreet…but, I see nothing sleezy about it.  It is a flattering remark.  People usually try to look their best when they walk out of the door and I am only taking time to appreciate your efforts.  Deal with it.  It’s not like I am assaulting you!

I do not think it is rude. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

Food!

I have recently been very experimental in the kitchen.  I have tried throwing different ingredients together to see what works and hoping, praying that no one died after I fed them. 

My two latest recipes are for a potato bake and king prawn noodles. 

Potato Bake

I used 2 Kg of potatoes.  I washed, peeled and sliced them into fairly sizeable slices and I put them in a pot of milk and salt and left to simmer for 10-12 minutes.

MAKE SURE THEY DO NOT GO TOO SOFT!

While the potatoes were simmering I made the tomato sauce to go with it.  I chopped two shallots and finely sliced garlic and lightly fried it in olive oil (low heat) for about 5 minutes adding mixed herbs, a pinch of cumin and coriander.  Leave to cook until the shallots change colour.  Make sure you stir every few minutes.  Meanwhile, chop around 8 tomatoes into chunks.  Before adding the tomatoes add a heaped tablespoon of flour to the onion/garlic mix.  Stir well.  Add all the tomatoes and a splash of water.  Let it simmer.

Take potatoes off the heat and drain the milk out.  Let it stand.  Grease an oven dish (I use Lurpak) and once the potatoes have cooled place on the base of the dish. 

The tomatoes sauce should be stirred and seasoned well with salt and pepper.  The herbs should run through the shallots but add more if need be.  Squeeze half a lemon and a splash of balsamic vinegar into the sauce and stir well.  The sauce should be relatively thick and tangy.  Pour onto the potatoes and then add mozzarella cheese on top and place into the oven at 180 (degrees) for 35 – 40 minutes. 

Enjoy!

King Prawn Noodles

This is actually very easy to make.  Thinly slice garlic, ginger and spring onions and place into a wok with stir fry oil on a high heat.  Season this with some salt and pepper and a heaped teaspoon of red pesto.  Let this cook while I got the prawns into a bowl and washed them.  Add ¾ of a cup of boiling water to the garlic/ginger/spring onion and tasted it for seasoning.  Add the kind prawns and chili flakes squeeze a lemon and add its juice and let it all cook. 

Meanwhile take out egg noodles and put it to boil for 4-6 minutes.

Drain the noodles when they have cooked and add to the wok.  Make sure the noodles soaks up all the flavour. 

I had made this concoction as I had run out of stir fry mix and I did not want the prawns to go off.  It was actually really simple and quite appetising. 

Buon appetito!

Much love,

Jackson L.

....and now for something completely different.

I have been considering taking a year to do something different.  I feel it is time to put my academic career on the backburner for a while so that I can focus on other things that I feel should be done while one is still young.  There are several things I am planning on doing:-

Travelling

Seeing our beautiful world is something everyone who can should try to experience.  There are many wonders to admire, old and new, and I would like to start by voyaging to the Far East.  I will hopefully be looking to travel to China, Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia for a few weeks.  I find the culture of these far away lands fascinating and I am enthused by their different take on life and attitude towards it too. 

China would be remarkable as it is one of the oldest civilizations in the world and its history and heritage is loaded with many spectacles; from the Terracotta Warriors to the Great Wall of China not to mention the blend of incredibly modern productions that have grabbed media’s attention in recent times showing the seamless might of Chinese engineering and craftsmanship.  Shanghai is, for me, a modern wonder of the world – that skyline – beyond epic. 

Thailand is another area of great interest.  If Thailand was a person attending a party, they would be the heart and soul and so much more of that party.  For a small country it bares majesty in all aspects of its being; history, culture, buildings, wildlife, food and not to mention what most people know it most for – partying.  Full and half moon parties at the beach will be one of the best parties ever. 

Vietnam and Cambodia are countries neighbouring Thailand.  Vietnam still proudly shows remnants of the war with the USA – particularly in Saigon - and the civil war which lead to USA’s involvement.  Although, this may be a depressing reminder to how destructive humans can be; it will be quickly forgotten I’m sure when one sees Ho Chi Minh.  It would also be astonishing to trek through jungle terrain and witness nature at its most extreme. 

Cambodia is a place which was, like too many countries, have been tormented by a tyranic dictator - Pol Pot.  He was a 'leader' who killed nearly 1/5th of his own people and the killing fields can be seen in Phnom Penh.  Torture devices can still be seen in museums in Cambodia today.  Elephant trekking is also a popular activity for tourists.  The main attraction for me would be the imposing temples that were built centuries ago.

All these places would require several weeks of travel but, it would be well worth it.  I am going to try and get my friend, Brian Fox, involved in it. 

Charity

I will also look to do some charity events.  I was involved in a charity event last year where I had to set up a rugby tournament and really get all my rugby contacts to come together to make a day of it.  I set up a sevens tournament where we got 3 rugby pitches, 12 rugby teams and there we had a 7s tournament.  It was great weather; great fun and all the proceeds went towards the Haiti appeal.  We managed to raise nearly £4000.  This has given me the impetus to be a little more charitable as it is easier than people think.  You don’t have to break the bank to be benevolent….you just need to put yourself through hell.  I am looking to run the London marathon in 2012.  It will be grueling and painful and at times boring, though it will be something I could say I have experienced once and maybe never again!  Also, the training for it has not been too bad...so far. 

I would also very much like to cycle from London to Paris.  This is a 5 day trip (4 days of cycling) and it will be a great way to see the deep south of England where you cycle through London as it begins to liven up from what seems like a light snooze very early in the morning then through Kent, the garden of England and through to Dover where we will get our ferry across to Calais and we will then cycle through Northern France where we will see many tranquil villages.  Also, we can stop at the battle ground of the Somme.  It has been described as eerie and unnatural place by those who have done this trip. 

I do hope I get to do these things.  My training for these began months ago when I was told the Marathon was fully booked for this year so I thought –

“Why not start training now?”

Humanitarian

I would very much like to go work in Japan to do some relief work, hopefully in conjunction with the UN of Amnesty International (preferably the latter…everyone seems to work for the UN).  I have been looking online to see if there is any scope for that and for the moment it appears not – for the untrained international anyway.  I was devastated for the Japanese.  They are an intelligent race of humble, kind people and seeing the footage and people breaking down when they found their loved ones missing was distressing for me. 

I certainly hope all goes to plan for my time off trying to fill my brain with information that I will probably not really use. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

I used to be naked....

I love clothes.  I used to be a real grouch when it came to clothes as I would feel that if I could wear it and it showed off my arms and chest I would just settle for that.  I thought I was a real man’s man for not giving a shit.  It was strange because all those around me; Brian Fox, my older brother, Sam and my sister, Viviane were all very fashion conscious….or at least a copious amount more so than I was.  I just didn’t understand how they could bother keeping up with all the changes and whatnot.  I felt so out of touch that I did not even wear a pair of jeans for a decade! What chance did I have?

I first began to think about dress sense after my 21^st birthday….about 3 years later than everybody else it would seem.  I have now become a total whore for clothes.  I want everything.  I constantly find new things I want to buy and wear.  I have even seen clothes for females and thought –

“I would SO wear that.”

I shop everywhere now as well.  From Primark (best for accessories like gloves, hates and sometimes plain T-Shirts) for very cheap to Uni Qlo – a Japanese clothing outlet (Japanese, so you know everything in there is just heroic), White Stuff (Japanese also), and many more well known high street shops.  Camden town is just the best place for sweet swag.  Gems there are plentiful but, you really have to search, which I do not mind doing because Camden has great ambiance, character and authenticity.  I love it there.

I also find it really easy to look up stuff online.  I have shopped from –

Vintage Whistles
Beyond Retro
Rokit Clothes

Vintage Whistles has excellent service.  I had bought a hand woven Harris Tweed jacket which was a little too big around the abdominal section and it was returned – no fuss and replaced.  It is free special delivery and I highly rate the direction it is going as it is all 100% vintage.  It is well worth checking out. 

Beyond Retro 3 stores in the London area and their website is the best way to see what they have in stock.  There are a lot of fantastic T-Shirts at low prices as well as accessories, such as; belts, hats and bags and many more things like jackets, trousers, jeans. 

I had to mention Rokit Clothes.  They are based in Camden and it was there that I bought my first 2 pairs of jeans – a stonewash pair of Levi’s 501 and a limited edition pair of Levi’s as well.  Both came up to only £45 and I am glad to be wearing jeans again!  They too have a great selection of clothes available however, Beyond Retro seem to have more variety. 

I am trying to adopt a more chic, vintage style image.  I know it may sound stupid but I am trying to do it in a more subtly edgier way rather than totally fanatical.  I like to think that ‘looking cool’ and ‘looking like a total dick and a douche’ comes hand in hand.  Please see below –

As you can see, if you were in the middle of looking cool you would be at the furthest point away from looking like a dick and a douche.  This is the kind of person that you walk pat in the street and think to yourself –

“I do not know you, but I immediately think you are a knob!”

Being in the middle of looking cool is the most sought after and everyone should yearn to be a part of that elusive click.  Some people try to be too edgy and start a fashion movement that, unbeknownst to them, they teeter in from the ‘looking cool’ section to slap bang in the middle of ‘looking like a total dick and a douche’.  It is a fine line.  It is also science.  I have a semi-circle.

I like to be edgy and different.  However, being those things and not coming across as a total asshole is very difficult.  I like it when people are edgy, like Kanye West.  His fashion sense is incredible.  If I had half of his wardrobe I would be very happy.  I think anyone would be.  He has the perfect balance of edgy and cool.  People like art students who try too hard not to conform and be so outrageously ‘out there’ that they all end up in the ‘looking like a total dick and a douche’ bracket and we all know they all look the same.  I just laugh.  I believe in their idea of their fashion should be a statement about themselves, which it should be about everybody.  It emphasises individuality but, it is as if their fashion sense is impalpable. 

I also think Gizzi Erskine is overrated. 

Much love,

Jackson L. 

Unlimited, please.

Unlimited.  Wouldn’t it be the best option for anything ever?  Imagine, if you will, being in a restaurant and paying a one off payment for an unlimited volume of food.  If you are anything like me and have a boundless appetite you WILL get your money’s worth.  I can eat more than Madonna gets around.  There’s someone who will always put the ‘ho’ in ‘hotel’.  What a skank! I genuinely can not think of anyone I dislike more.  She is a terrible, terrible person. 

Well, there is a place which offers an unlimited offer for a one off monthly payment.  I see it as my period.  My period is £13.50.  This is, of course, the unlimited card that Cineworld offer.  A one off monthly payment – no contract – and you can see as many movies as you like.  Wonderful. 

Although Cineworld is about a twice as far away as The Vue, it is not nearly as draining to my funds as The Vue is.  At £6-8 a viewing, it is a no brainer! I guess the environment will just have to take another one on the chin.  I, personally, blame The Vue for not having more competitive prices and offers.  Climate change is entirely their fault.  However, The Vue is a genuinely better cinema.  At home the Cineworld is actually spectacularly unparalleled compared to the bullshit I am subjected to in London.  It is kind of hard to believe really.  How hard is it to make a cinema complex good?  They make mammoth profits.  Invest in my comfort, please!  Still, I think the prices are too good so I will sell out. 

As aforementioned in a previous blog (refer to blog dated 17^th Nov) the actual establishments are just, simply, balls.  But, what annoys me more than anything is that people do not understand that there are other people there.  Everyone talks.  Audibly.  In the intensely hilarious words of my friend, Brian Fox –

“I hate the cinema.  There are too many cunts with shit opinions.”

Wisdom beyond his years.  It brings a tear to my eye every time.  It is just beautiful, eloquent and so very true. 

Still, I have seen several films over the last month or so (since getting my unlimited card back). 

I am Number 4 – Incredibly tacky script.  Despite this, I enjoyed it because I was sat there thinking……”This would make an epic game, especially if there was no dialogue whatsoever.”  It was a rather standard plot and I think Timothy Olyphant is a genius.

The Rite – The book it was based on, was far superior…..I’m sure.  The only good thing about this movie was Anthony Hopkins.  Not that I usually would, but I had no trouble sleeping that night. 

Hall Pass – …..Stephan Merchant was quite good in it.  

Unknown – Even those who do not like Liam Neeson thought this was a great film.  What a genius premise for a film.  It took a while to get into but the more it unravelled the cleverer it got.  I like a film with plot twists and turns and thickenings.  This film was full of them. 

The Adjustment Bureau – Another great principle to a good film but it was not really executed entirely well.  Happy to have seen it once.  Once it shall remain. 

Limitless – This was a very smart picture that tapped into many different themes that people do not take the time to sit and think about.  For example, man’s capacity to over-reach, i.e. greed.  Instead of trying to satisfy hunger for more, appreciate what you already have and what you have achieved. 

Sucker Punch – A bunch of bad ass chicks in a fantasy film.  Um….yeah.  I think so.  I think Emily Browning is the hottest thing in the world right now.  Baby doll would be the ideal girl for every man. 

Got a few more films to go and see.  I am looking forward to the obvious ones like going to see The Eagle (finally) and Thor, but I am looking forward to seeing the remake of Arthur.  Originally it had one of my comic heroes – Dudley Moore, the remake stars Russell Brand whom I believe has a greater capacity for acting than in stand-up.  Just saying…..

Much love,

Jackson L.