Headstrong.

I was thinking about this the other day after speaking to Brian Fox on the phone.  I realised that there are certain traits which I had developed from my years of playing rugby and constantly being in a team environment and also from those who have been there and done that (so to speak).  I used to not be as mentally strong as I feel I am now and I actually think I owe a lot to Brian.  He seems to be leaps and bounds ahead of me when in comes to being willful. 

I mentioned to him something which I wish I can tell my-14-year-old-self –

“Take it one step at a time.  Worry about things as they come.” 

I’m sure he already knew that but, I felt it was worth mentioning at the time as he has more than a lot on his plate at the moment. 

Later on, when I went to bed I actually thought of several characteristics which I have implemented in order to be a little more determined. 

Here are my 5 tips to be more head strong –

1.      Put teammates first.

I’ll be honest – when I used to play rugby I always used to think of myself as a big gun on the pitch.  I used to ball hog all the time and hunt for personal glory every time I played.  I wanted to score the tries, I wanted to be the hero, I wanted to be the man.  However, when I got to the bigger leagues, I was now small fry compared to the other 14 big guns on the pitch.  I felt I was a run of the mill, nothing special, just there to make up the numbers player….I guess it was my drive to make the difference which made me better.  I changed my game.  I put the team and my teammates first and, naturally, all the glory came.  This is an exoteric responsibility - that is, 'imparting to someone else' and it's missing from our culture. When you are acting exoterically, you are acting ethically.

2.  Second guess yourself

We all have doubt.  We all think terrible things that make us want to quit or give up something that is important to us.  It happens to the best of us.  Instinct is a great thing but, sometimes when you really assess a situation, your second or third thought is the real you. 

3.      Don’t be afraid of fear.

Fear is something that everyone goes through but some are overwhelmed by it.  Fear is an experience; like fun, good times, the bad, heartbreak, joy etc.  Reach out to friends/family and share it.  You get plenty of positive energy from it all.  Some of the best advice I have had is from approaching people out of fear. 

4.   Break big goals into small targets.

      This is the golden one, for me.  I wish I had been taught this as a child.  I think life would have been different.  I think big.  I think I have with most things and there is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking big.  If anything, I think everyone should, however, the crime would be to think big and achieve nothing.  Small, realistic targets that will stretch your abilities a little is how, I feel, will get your to your goal.

“There is no one giant step that does it.  It is a lot of little steps.” – Peter A. Cohen.

5.      Have faith in yourself.

This is a paramount brick in the wall that is your resolve.  The belief that you can do it is usually what sees people through.  Mind over matter prevails.  I am not going to be one of those douche bags that is going to use the phrase “nothing is impossible” because there are things that are impossible.  For example, go and eat Stonehenge.  Yeah, I bet you can’t do that!

Faith is something everyone should have in themselves. 

With all this, I would hope one gets more out of life or at least, like I have, have a different outlook on life.  It could bring you one step closer, or shove you into happiness in life.  This reminds me of an incredible story John Lennon told -

"My mother always used to tell me 'Son, happiness is the key to life.'  When I was asked what I wanted to be in life at school, I wrote 'Happy'.  I was told I didn't understand the assignment.  I told them they didn't understand life."

Much love,

Jackson L.