Unlimited, please.

Unlimited.  Wouldn’t it be the best option for anything ever?  Imagine, if you will, being in a restaurant and paying a one off payment for an unlimited volume of food.  If you are anything like me and have a boundless appetite you WILL get your money’s worth.  I can eat more than Madonna gets around.  There’s someone who will always put the ‘ho’ in ‘hotel’.  What a skank! I genuinely can not think of anyone I dislike more.  She is a terrible, terrible person. 

Well, there is a place which offers an unlimited offer for a one off monthly payment.  I see it as my period.  My period is £13.50.  This is, of course, the unlimited card that Cineworld offer.  A one off monthly payment – no contract – and you can see as many movies as you like.  Wonderful. 

Although Cineworld is about a twice as far away as The Vue, it is not nearly as draining to my funds as The Vue is.  At £6-8 a viewing, it is a no brainer! I guess the environment will just have to take another one on the chin.  I, personally, blame The Vue for not having more competitive prices and offers.  Climate change is entirely their fault.  However, The Vue is a genuinely better cinema.  At home the Cineworld is actually spectacularly unparalleled compared to the bullshit I am subjected to in London.  It is kind of hard to believe really.  How hard is it to make a cinema complex good?  They make mammoth profits.  Invest in my comfort, please!  Still, I think the prices are too good so I will sell out. 

As aforementioned in a previous blog (refer to blog dated 17^th Nov) the actual establishments are just, simply, balls.  But, what annoys me more than anything is that people do not understand that there are other people there.  Everyone talks.  Audibly.  In the intensely hilarious words of my friend, Brian Fox –

“I hate the cinema.  There are too many cunts with shit opinions.”

Wisdom beyond his years.  It brings a tear to my eye every time.  It is just beautiful, eloquent and so very true. 

Still, I have seen several films over the last month or so (since getting my unlimited card back). 

I am Number 4 – Incredibly tacky script.  Despite this, I enjoyed it because I was sat there thinking……”This would make an epic game, especially if there was no dialogue whatsoever.”  It was a rather standard plot and I think Timothy Olyphant is a genius.

The Rite – The book it was based on, was far superior…..I’m sure.  The only good thing about this movie was Anthony Hopkins.  Not that I usually would, but I had no trouble sleeping that night. 

Hall Pass – …..Stephan Merchant was quite good in it.  

Unknown – Even those who do not like Liam Neeson thought this was a great film.  What a genius premise for a film.  It took a while to get into but the more it unravelled the cleverer it got.  I like a film with plot twists and turns and thickenings.  This film was full of them. 

The Adjustment Bureau – Another great principle to a good film but it was not really executed entirely well.  Happy to have seen it once.  Once it shall remain. 

Limitless – This was a very smart picture that tapped into many different themes that people do not take the time to sit and think about.  For example, man’s capacity to over-reach, i.e. greed.  Instead of trying to satisfy hunger for more, appreciate what you already have and what you have achieved. 

Sucker Punch – A bunch of bad ass chicks in a fantasy film.  Um….yeah.  I think so.  I think Emily Browning is the hottest thing in the world right now.  Baby doll would be the ideal girl for every man. 

Got a few more films to go and see.  I am looking forward to the obvious ones like going to see The Eagle (finally) and Thor, but I am looking forward to seeing the remake of Arthur.  Originally it had one of my comic heroes – Dudley Moore, the remake stars Russell Brand whom I believe has a greater capacity for acting than in stand-up.  Just saying…..

Much love,

Jackson L.