It is funny and I will laugh.

There are many things that make life so much more enjoyable.  For me, trying my best to fill my day with laughter is the best way to fill it.  I have recently discovered, thanks to a friend I have recently made – we will call her Lauren Blue – who taught me that one of the best ways to do this is by being quite spontaneous, outrageous and daring.

We have recently been placed in the same office.  We also just got chastised by a learned Professor.  It honestly felt like we were in school again but it was funny.  Over the last two days we have been brainstorming and performing comical incidents. 

1. We have an office with literally hundreds of books.  Books that we do not use, except for playing Jenga. 
2. Go up to a total random and ask “Is your name Craig?” whatever their response is just say “So?”
3. Ask a mere acquaintance “How has your day been?” and just as they begin to answer interrupt abruptly by saying “Actually, I really don’t care!”
4. If your office is on a long corridor that has an echo, develop the most eerie noise you can using your voice and call someone’s name in another office.  Make sure it is loud and no one sees you do it.  Deny all knowledge. 
5. Plan to ignore someone completely when they walk into an office.  Keep a straight face as if nothing has changed.  Even start a conversation with some else completely.
6. Ask people if they want a cup of tea from the communal kitchen.  Return to the office and make none for anybody.  When asked where their tea is just say “Oh, I thought you were going to make me one?” Meanwhile you take a gulp from you warm cup of tea. 
7. Claim you invented something like the question mark.  Find an elaborate reason as to how you came about your alleged creation – “I was fishing one day in the great rapids of Michigan and I found that there was no fish hooking.  The hook represents the upper part of the mark and the dot represents all the fish that got away leaving you questioning ‘why can’t I land a catch?’ hence QUESTION MARK”.  When people doubt your story just implore them to come up with a better story.  9/10 they can’t and if they do just say “You don’t know!”
8. This one is particularly funny.  Find a bucket and make sure no one sees you take it.  Fill the bucket up with water, about ¾ full.  Again, make sure no one knows you have the bucket of water or anything.  Balance the bucket of water against a door so that it is leaning on the door and profusely knock and run away.  Make sure no one sees you! As the door opens, water.  Everywhere.  Laughter ensues. 
9. Send a long email about thee most boring thing.
10. Skip from place to place.  Actually skip.  The most socially unacceptable mode of motion….AND you’re doing it. 
11. Bring in a very herby meal for others to share with you.  If one of those who eat the meal gets a herb stuck in their teeth tell them nothing.  Also try and make them laugh a lot so everyone can see. 
12. Hide trivial things like hole-punches and staplers.  Also take out the staples, leaving 2 or 3 staples.  Repeat daily. 
13. One thing that REALLY pisses me off is when you want to print off a single document paper.  Someone is hogging it and printing off 100 page document.  Wait for the document to finish printing and take it to the owner’s desk as you walk up make it obvious that you are changing the order of the document.
14. Phone up someone’s extension.  Just exclaim “HELLO!” pretend for about a minute or so not to hear what is going on.  After that, when they have also raised their voice just say normally “Why are you shouting?”  See where the conversation goes.  If they say something like “I think you have the wrong number.”  Just reply with “You phoned me!” But, try and keep a decent conversation.  Ask what they are wearing. 
15. Blame EVERYTHING on the government.  But, silly things like why you were late, ill, weather, lack of office stationary, slow internet.  Everything. 
16. Always have the opposite opinion to whoever you are talking to.  If you mention an opinion which people agree with, quickly and obviously change your opinion.  When you get asked defensively state “I would NEVER be of that opinion! It’s disgusting!”
17. Mention how something as inconsequential as drawing the blinds changed everything!  “I will not get my fix of Vitamin D which will cause brittle bones.  This can lead to me breaking my legs and hips when I’m 90.  Do you want that on your conscience? Do you? Do you?”  Try and repeat ‘Do you?’ as many times as you can.  Even if it means interrupting them. 
18. Try and quote as many obvious song lyrics in a conversation as you can.  Always finish off with “…and nothing else matters.”
19. Try your best to incite an office war.  Kind of like fight club, when they have to start a fight and lose but make sure you win.  Good ammunition: rubbers, pens, scrunched up paper balls etc.  Lever arch folders are good shields. 
20. When speaking to someone new in the office, try and make subtle but noticeable changes to your accent every time you speak to them make sure that they are outlandishly different to your actual accent.  About a week later just speak to them normally.  If they ask just claim you have no idea what they are talking about. 

Have fun with these!

Much love,

Jackson L.