Fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Although I am very happy with my move to London and glad I left the cesspool that is X, I would be almost be dehumanised not to have at least one or two complaints about my new home.  Everyone has a moan about something and this is my time to moan about something.  It is and always will be the British way.  It is the winning way. 

I find the standard of driving in London to be of particularly poor quality.  I have been driving for a fair amount of time and thankfully nothing too major has happened.  However, every time I am behind the wheel in London - I always get the feeling that something WILL happen.  It is actually a rather scary thought as I cannot go for a 'relaxing' drive which I often would do as it is painfully stressful and I do not like needless stress.  If you can drive in London without crashing for at least an hour, you deserve a medal.  Or a plaque stipulating how epic you are or a fucking MBE!!

I do have a theory as to why it is so terrible.  London is considered one of the biggest metropolises in the world.  It is one of the greatest cities in the world; in population, stature, hustle and bustle and character.  It, therefore, attracts people from all over the world - i.e. those who live outside of the UK who have different driving rules and laws in their native countries or least countries where they learned to drive.  They then apply the same rules and laws when they are in the UK and shit well and truly hits the symbolic fan.  Giving way at junctions and round-abouts is out the window as is mirror-signal-manoeuvre.  Not to mention being cut off.  And then when you express your frustration through the medium of car horn for the ultimate, well timed and very satisfying "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??! FUCK YOU!" They think that you are in the wrong and go ape shit at you which only throws petrol in the fire.  Some people are just too proud.  When I fuck up on the road - not that I do regularly - but when I do, I hold my hands up and take full responsibility for my actions. 

Furthermore, many of these people and many Britons as well do not actually have car insurance.  As many as 4 million drivers on the road right now do not have car insurance.  With that in mind - whenever an uninsured driver crashes into an insured driver, the individual who is insured's company loses out more so than the rest.  Therefore, insurance for everybody goes up which is why my and many other law abiding citizens have had to pay the price for the selfishness of these absolute cunts.  Well I have a message for these twats:

GET YOURSELVES FUCKING WELL INSURED OR GET RID OF YOU FUCKING CAR, YOU FUCKHEADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR DRIVING IS SO BAD IT GIVES ME CANCER!!
 

I get very agitated when people who do the right things have to pay for those who do the wrong things. 

In addition to this, I love film and cinema.  I have, unfortunately, not had the opportunity to go to the cinema as often as I would like, although I have been a few times over the last few months.  Usually in a month I would go in excess of 10 times.  I have never had a worse cinema experience anywhere.  London just does not know how to run a proper, decent cinema.  The establishments themselves - most cinemas I have been to here do not even have cup holders in the seats.  The seats themselves are torn up, uncomfortable shitty seats which seem to proudly display their vomit stains.  But asides from all that, the thing that pisses me right off more than anything about my cinema experiences in London so far is the fact that whenever I have been to the cinema some asshole just do not want to shut the fuck up and quietly watch the film.  Have you seen that part in Scary Movie....

It is seriously as bad as that for a lot of people who go to the cinema.  Many are quite happy to just announce their opinions about the movie, whilst everyone else is watching it.  Its like please shut the fuck up before someone smacks you the fuck up you utter, utter, terrible stupid dick! Keep your desultory, insufferable opinions to yourself or WHISPER! Whispering is still socially acceptable you total cunt!

I have been to see "Resident Evil - 3D", "The other Guys" and "RED" in London and EVERYTIME(!) there is some shit for brains who just decides to sit in the back and; audaciously laugh at the least funny thing that happens, talk continuously expressing their opinions, predicting what will happen, regurgitating what was said, laughing some more, pointing out the obvious (which emphasises how pathetically futile their minds are) and also just, generally exist.  I don’t think these people realise how stupidly moronic they actually are.  They need to sit down.  Take a long hard look in the mirror and say to themselves "STOP BEING A FIRST CLASS WANKER!"  And make a conscious effort to stop ruining my cinema experiences otherwise, they should just kill themselves.  They should kill themselves until they die from it!!

Chill out you say?  Well I say shut the hell up!

Much love.

Jackson L.