Adventures on the London underground

One of the many things I love about London is the London Underground transport service.  Also known as 'the tube' to virtually everyone! It was the first of it's kind in the world and it was the first to go electric in the 1890s.  It is about the only thing the British government have done well to expand and make sure for good service.  Despite the pricing, it gives a great feel of connection to the whole of London and the Greater London area too.  You can get anywhere in no time! It is great!!

The experience of the tube is made all the more glorious by the happenings I have encountered and been involved in over the last few months.  All walks of life are found on the tube; rich, poor, thin, fat, ethnic, cultured, learned, old, young.  For better use of a cliche....the list is endless.  The practicality of the tube and the potential adventures that could befall an individual makes it a necessary commodity to experience for people who live in or for those who visit London.  So many random, yet magical moments with complete strangers allows for a vivacious feel. 

One of the best things about travelling in the tube in the morning is the sight of those who, clearly, miss their bed a little bit too much.  You can see they are struggling to stay awake and you feel for them, because you know what it is like to have eye-lids that feel like they weigh tonnes! So 'dozers', as I call them, doze off and when they are thrown about on a somewhat bumpy ride - they awaken with the greatest expression of shock, horror and fright on their face.  A youtube video dedicated to this would be comical indeed. 

Intra-personal moments between yourself and one other person are few and far between but, these moments are well remembered and greatly cherished.  The ability for strangers to know what each other are thinking without even conversing is so very powerful, it is almost poetic.

I was on my way home and sat in a fairly quiet carriage as I was nearer my part of town in greater London.  I was sat opposite a man and there was a BEAUTIFUL lady sat near us.  She had OLIVE skin, SOLAR GREEN eyes and JET BLACK hair.  To say I was in awe would be a catastrophic understatement.  She, unfortunately, got up to get off at her stop and out of my life.  I caught the other man's eyes staring at her as well, admiring her hysterically charming grace.  She got off the train.  The man and I were left with her perfect image in our minds.  The man and I looked at each other. Nodded - as if to say "She was SO hot!" - and then carried on with our lives. 

Some moments on the tube are, however, not ones to savour and bethink. 

Minding my own business I was on my way to central London.  I got on at my stop and noticed a man starring at me.  He was a mangy middle-aged man which I had no affiliation with.  I did not think much of it as I thought he would eventually find something far more interesting to divert his relentless attention on.  No word of a lie - four(!) stops later.  Four! And he was still glaring at me.  I was listening to music at the time so I switched off my ipod, took out my headphones and then proceeded to return the favour.  For the next 10 or so minutes (which is a mighty long time considering what we were doing) we were locked in a death stare.  We just stared at each other.  I honestly have no idea why.  He and I did not know each other.  There was not affection there.  Nothing.  Meanwhile other passengers were aware of this and were nervously laughing, wondering what in the BLUE fuck was going on?!
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He eventually got up to leave and even when he stood up to make his way to the door and even when he was at the door he was still staring.  So I questioned "Why don't you take a picture??! It will last longer!!"  To which he seemed to get intimidated and he broke the stare and finally looked away.  Surrounding passengers laughed at my and his reactions and then asked me what it was all about.  Of course my reply was "I wish I knew."

I suppose it was quite comical thinking about it now.  Though, compared to the next occurence I had to endure....this is a relatively small metaphorical fish which was fried in a rather cumbersome metaphorical pan. 

On my way back from home I witnessed a Paris Hilton wannbe get on the train.  It was not her appearance which bothered me.  I could not care whose look you choose to adopt or how you feel you should express yourself.  As long as you are the best person you can be - I do not judge.  So having said that - if you are indeed a Paris Hilton wannabe, fine.  As long as it is only her looks you try to emulate. 

Anyway, she had a dog on a leash.  A small, yapping, annoying, ugly piece of shit. I am not really a dog person*.  Again, I thought to myself - each to their own.  I looked.  Smiled.  Looked away.  Everyone else on board was giving the "AWW! How cute?" look.  So the dog kept adamantly barking and it was rather irritating to say the least.  Eventually I saw the dog assume the position and take a shit.  In the middle of the carriage floor.  The stench was staggering.  Imagine if you will.  A fairly crowded train.  Underground - humid.  A dog shitting.  All I could think was FML!!!

*I feel that dogs are disgusting creatures.  They lick their own balls and dick and then come to lick your face.  They are far too dependant and that, personally would royally piss me off.  They are painfully thick hence the phrase "Thick as dog shit!" They hump EVERYTHING.  I just think they are too dirty and they smell.  This is all, of course, an opinion and I can completely understand emotional attachment others have towards dogs.  They are just not for me. 

I am considered an opinionated person.  I express my opinions when asked for them or I tell them off my own accord when I feel I need to.  For some reason - I thought I would have faith in humanity and let someone else express their disgust.  Thinking someone would step up to the mark and say something...people did nothing.  Instead they, again, had the "AWW! How cute?" look on their faces again.  Is this what it had come to??  Who was I suppose to turn to? 

Thankfully I was only one or two stops away.  As I got off at my stop I looked at the woman.  I did not smile.  I thought to myself "Your life must be pathetically tragic.  You feel you are not good enough with your own looks and stylings and you need to follow some total dick's lifestyle.  I thought she was a sad; utter, utter, terrible, stupid knob with shit for brains and that the world would be a MUCH better place if she'd just killed herself.".

She, of course, did not even attempt to clean it up.  What a total dick. 

As I mentioned, many different people of all creed use this service.

Sitting beside an elderly man, I saw several medals on his blazer.  This man was the quintessential - happy old man.  He could not be more of a polar extreme contrast to the grumpy old man persona which is just common and only too well known.  It was very impressive, I thought, that he was so well decorated, from what I thought was war medals.  I mentioned that he bore a lot of metal.  He was only too keen to explain that he was in fact a World War II veteran and he wears more than just a poppy.  As he was explaining to me how passionate he was about helping out the soldiers of today as he has witnessed what war is and can do to individuals, first hand and all the charity events coming up for the next few weeks, a cross dresser in drag sat in front of him and next to me.  Like I said before - I have an open mind to these things.  You can have any appearance you like as long as your heart is of good nature.  I like Eddie Izzard!  I made nothing of it.  I was very keen on hearing more from 'Gradpa WWII' as I named him in my mind.  Unfortunately his attentions were diverted.  He was giving piercing daggers to the cross dresser.  I have honestly never seen a change in one's emotion.  It was actually rather profound.  He had a look of anger and revolt on his face.  You could almost tell what he was thinking: WITH ALL THE DIGNITY I CAN MUSTER....I SAW HELPLESSLY WATCHED MY COMRADES DIE AND WITNESSED THE HORRORS WAR HAS TO OFFER FOR THIS KIND OF PEACE?!"

I actually found his feelings towards the cross dresser a vicious, yet welcome reminder of how things have and always will change with every generation.  This man would have seen the end of many an era and the dawn of many others.  He will have loved some and loathed others.  It made me appreciate why so many of our elders get annoyed and frustrated at the young.  Although, I do feel that those who are older than us should understand and appreciate that things have and always will change - for better or for worse - they should just roll with it, I had no illusion that I, one day, will also get annoyed and frustrated with those much younger and less experienced and maybe even utter the horrendous "Back in my day...." cliche.  But for now I laughed.  I laughed at his reaction because I found it funny.  For now I think I will continue to laugh because I really rather enjoy it. 

It is very hard for me to imagine or even believe the tube will now forever have an association with terrorism.  Especially now that on the tube - with this ongoing inquest into the bombings - I read about the bombings.  I really do wish the inquest well and they salvage something to make the lives of those effected by it better.  It was truly a hideous operation which was carried out all in the name of religion.  As a man of faith, I believe that this and all other terrorist activity carried out in the name of religion is haram.  These terrorists who commit these atrocities in the name of Allah are only painting an image of everything Islam is not.  Allah does not condone these philosophies exercised by these terrorist organisations.  In the eyes of Allah they are not even Muslims or any other faith because they are openly defying Allah. 

On a lighter note, the greatest feeling in the tube is a feeling that will last only the blink of an eye. 

When on the tube the most vexing obstacle is to avoid eye contact with other passengers.  This is so because you are so conscious of it and you can read the same adverts only a few times before you start to lose your mind.  But when your eyes do meet with the eyes of an enchanting random and both blushfully look away, smiling and momentarily fall in love.  That is THEE single most exhilarating feeling on the tube.  Ever. 

A million journeys are worth just one of those feelings. 

Much love,

Jackson L.