I often wonder if anyone else has ever had the feeling of being alone in a crowded room? Felt that their ventures were a whole lot of oysters but no pearls. Did not quite fit in? Well this is a feeling I had for the last few years of living in a city in the lowlands of Scotland. I, unfortunately, was unable to do anything about it due to my commitments in sport, higher education and having no reason but feelings to break away. I did vocalise my opinions and all but one of my good friends agreed with me, few supported me and others seemed to be offended. Patriotism can be such a pain in the ass!
(I did not say i didn't like you....I simply stated this place, for me, is depressing as shit!!)
Well, I eventually graduated from university and then there was nothing for the summer. Just constantly leaving my surroundings to do nothing elsewhere....I really did feel like I was going nowhere and fast. Everything was just the same. Same people. Same old places. Same shit in the news. Same discrimination. Same terrible weather ALL THE TIME. Same back stabbers. Same bullshit everyday. Same. Same. Same.
Anyway, I, since then, found a cause to move away (thank god) and I have now left the Scots to come to the "Big Smoke"....and it has been great so far. I genuinely do feel much happier. I am pursuing my desire to be a PhD in sports science, sports nutrition and exercise medicine.
I have found that the attitude differs greatly to those who reside in London than those back 'home'. I find that there is a much more "I'M GONNA GO GET IT!" attitude here. I feel this is the best attitude to have in anything that you want to achieve through hard work. I think that I will flourish here with starting a career here. I think anyone can. It was a rather profound discovery I made, truth be told. It is very dog eat dog but, everyone understands that its not personal, its just business.
It has been very interesting to see the difference in social interactions as well. Randoms talk to you so much more which is always nice. It breaks up the day:
-----I walked into a pub the other day and I ordered some lunch-------
Bar Maid: Where are you from, darling?
ME: I am from *******.
Bar Maid: Oh! (rather sub-dued....almost frightened)
Bar Manager: 'Ave you 'eard of a ******* ****, tough guy?
ME: Hahahaha....Have you heard of a Chelsea smile?!
The bar-maid asked me where I was from as my accent was alien to her. I have, unfortunately, picked up a Scottish twang after having lived there for so long. (I say 'unfortunately' as I had a lost accent as it was. I have been branded as Irish, American, South African, Australian.....). After explaining where I was from she was shocked. Stepped back, almost as if I had handed over a dead baby to her....much like how trading establishments in England get when you hand over Scottish bank notes. Meanwhile - the bar manager overheard and asked "'Ave you 'eard of a ******* ****, tough guy?" To which I chuckled responded with "Have you heard of a Chelsea smile??!" That little banterous back and forth got me a free lunch and a usual at the bar. I hadn't, at the time, been there for even a week and already had a usual at the bar. That is what I call a 'FLAWLESS VICTORY'. That was really cool.
There is always something happening here. It is a happening city and there is always something different. It is a shock to the system. You almost get anxiety attacks because you feel you might miss out. There is a catalogue of cultural shows, west-end theatre, movie premiers, site seeing, boat parties, shopping and so much more. Bohemia is something Campden Town prides itself on. The beauty of the west end. Even riding the tube gives you a new adventure almost everytime you're on it.
I have now been here for a around two months and I think I can call this is home. Home is, of course, where the heart is. I am encapsulated by boundless rapture since I decided to take the risk of heading off on my own. It is a courageous thing to do even with others let alone on your own. However, for anyone who is thinking about making a move away from home, be it for; happiness, career, love, change of pace in life....ANYTHING(!) I strongly recommend you try it out. What is the worst that can happen? No matter how bad it gets you will always have someone waiting for you to encourage you and keep your spirits up back at home. Support was such a big thing for me and I got it all from the right people.
I have turned the page. I like the drawings I have sketched.
Much love,
Jackson L.
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