Red Hot Chili Peppers

I recently went to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers (RHCP), a band which I love!  They are so summery and awesome to listen to.  Not only do they create sweet, sweet music for a sad, sad world but, they compliment the music well with their excellent lyricism. 

None of this Carly Rae Jepsen bullshit –

“Before you came into my life I missed you so bad”  That makes no god damn motherfucking sense you dumb fuck!

Anyway, Chilis!  So it was an open air event which, when the tickets were bought we were thinking YES!!!  Summer time in London! A summery band!  A band who dedicated a summer song about summer in London!!! (Emmit Remmus) I felt like Hannibal from The A team!

Needless to say, the weather was balls.  In addition, the concert was a total let down, despite a welcome idiosyncratic set list including Sir Psycho Sexy, Higher Ground and Soul to Squeeze.  Take that part time fans!!!  I realised despite RHCP being an awesome band, they aren’t up to much live.  They certainly weren’t as energetic as Dizee Rascal who actually stole the show, despite being a total bell-end with his hooliganistic chant of:

“LETS GOT FUCKIN’ BONKERS! LETS GO FUCKIN’ BONKERS!! NANA NANA NANAA NANAA”

I’ll be honest, I was loving that!  I embrace any given moment of being a hooligan, when it is or isn’t socially acceptable.  I love it!  Fuck you!!

Anyway, the weather being shitty and the 2 and a bit hours or so that the chilis were on, I realised that not only was I distinctly disappointed with the way my life was going in that given moment, I was also strongly loathing all the cunts I was surrounded by....essentially a bunch of cunty-chops who had obviously never experienced alcohol before, didn’t know how to handle it and were freakin’ it!  In addition to this, they probably think that the chilis are the best band ever.  As previously stipulated, they aren’t anything spectacular live and if you know me, you know I have been to more than my fair share of gigs. 

My problems with the headliners:  Well, not much of a crowd interaction was the most obvious.  It was almost as if they were there just for the sake of it.  It was the fourth time I have seen the chilis and the last two times have been a shambles!  Flea has become a little cocky in my opinion, thanking only 2 of the 3 support acts.  Knob.  And also, The new guitarist Josh clinghoffer#psqriohgqbwer;cvl            qwebf;khjbg      qwerg – that’s his name – was basically non-existent.  He may as well have been backstage doing the instrumentals (bring back Mr John Frusciante, please!) Chad was awesome.  I do love Chad.  He is always up for it.  T. Keidis was the first off stage.  It was as if he couldn’t wait to fuck off.  I don’t get it!

Furthermore, as I have already mentioned....the fans that were there.  Fucking hell!  Bar, one or two funny lads from Wales....the rest were a bunch of kids who pretended to know how to smoke and like I already said, thought the Chilis were god’s gift to the world.  It reminded me of my brief stint on the RHCP app. 

I need to say, I thought the idea of the app was super kool. You were able to keep up with the band’s current affairs, buy merchandise, see videos, lyrics and interact with other fans.  It was almost like twitter specifically for the chilis.  But, I say it was brief because around a week later I realised the vast majority were a bunch of retards who hated you if you were outside of the opinion that the chilis were the greatest band of all time x infinity100000000000000000000000000000000.  Now, I love the chilis, I have all their albums and I, better than most, know their history, all the names that have been and gone etcetc.  But, one conversation with a ‘fellow apper’ put me off completely. 

(This was a while ago...)

APPER: I am trying to think of another band as good as the chilis who have been going as long as them.

ME: Chilis been going for 28 years.  Metallica recently got inaugurated into the hall of fame for 30 years of music AND they are working on a new album.

APPER: Yeah but, they are not as good as the chilis

ME: That’s a difference of opinion and it is debateable.

OTHER APPER (my sister): Maiden released an album only last year, still touring and have been going longer than Metallica, even.  Motorhead celebrated 35 years a few years ago and recently released an album and AC/DC are touring.

APPER: Yeah but none of their albums are as good as the chilis or as acclaimed

OTHER APPER: Yes they are and also, the foos had an album which was highly revered. 

APPER:  You’re such a hater!  I’m going to go and listen to Porcelain to calm myself down. 

Then, everyone jumped on the bandwagon and started to call us haters for knowing about other bands.  Cunts. 

Also, can I just say – Porcelain is without doubt thee gayest song in the chilis’ back catalogue.  Even the chilis are like:

“Sorry lads.  Dunno what that was about.”

Also, how are we haters just because we had a different opinion??! That guy was what I would like to call a knobcunt hybrid.  He is the worst of both worlds.  He is a hermaphrodite.  He’s a herm!  Not only does he listen to porcelain but no other bands are allowed to be better than the chilis.  Knobcunt!

We were surrounded by the same bunch of knobcunts on Saturday and it was painful.  You can’t beat a Motorhead crowd!

Much love,

Jackson L.

Iron Maiden

I wrote this YEARS ago now.  It was on the 'A Matter of Life and Death Tour'.  I was still a kid so dont laugh.  It is about the greatest heavy metal band ever: IRON MAIDEN

I was, last night being Friday the 15th of December '06, at about quarter to 8 in the evening sitting ignoring the fact that Trivium were on stage at an arena with my best friend. We were both rather bored by them trying to be a primitive Metallica and left to get something to eat. The duration of their set we remained seated in the small, rather shabby cafe.

It wasn’t until they finally fucked off we got ourselves up to go into the main arena to get good stations for the forth coming set which was about to take place...for it was the magnificent IRON MAIDEN!!!

So Antonio and I, being myself, got to approximately 10 feet from the front and crash bang in the middle. Finally, about 5 to 9 o'clock rolled around and the lights went out and by god(!) it went crazy...I was freaking out!

Maiden emerged from the shadows and WOW!!!

it was 9 o'clock when they came on and they played:-

Different World (will be released as a single on Christmas day)These Colours Don’t Run
Brighter Than A Thousand Suns
The Pilgrim
The Longest Day
Out Of The Shadows
The Reincarnation Of Benjamin Breeg
For The Greater Good Of God
Lord Of Light
The Legacy
(that was all from A Matter Of Life And Death...all in order, was loving it!)
Fear Of The Dark
and Iron Maiden
They encored with:-

2 Minutes To Midnight (something incredible happened here...)
The Evil That Men Do
Hallowed Be Thy Name(I think that was all)

None of Dance of Death was played and not many more classics were played (which I thought was great because that would have pissed off assholes that came to see them for Run To The Hills and thats it...was great for true MAIDEN fans!) but it was still a 2 hour set and it was a spectacular set with props that are just unimaginable. Only if one can see it for themselves would one understand they level of awesomeness this concert was oozing which was just infinite!!! The props included a tank with Eddie (the Maiden mascot) popping his head out with a set of binoculars...was giant! And better yet, a 12 foot robotic Eddie appeared from nowhere with a gun in hand and walked about the stage! (WHAT!?!?) Was so good! Not to mention the artwork of the backgrounds of the stage. The setup was ever changing with a different picture to set the theme of the song and it was just beyond amazing!

The Maiden guys made it all look so effortless. Bruce Dickenson's voice was sheer talent booming out of his throat; his crowd control was just unbelievable!

He was on fire!

Nico McBrain on drums was just legendary! Set up every song, introduced them very well. How he can keep up with Steve Harris on his bass drum with ONLY ONE SET OF BASS DRUMS just defeats me! It leaves me puzzled!!! An awesome performance from the McBrain as ever!!!

Steve Harris...the heart and soul of MAIDEN!!! He just can’t be more of an icon! The passion he put into every song and every note he play and everything he did. A true performer and one of/if not the greatest bassists of heavy metal and music history!!!

Just when you thought it wouldn’t get any better bloggie,

the guitarists - Dave Murray, Adrian Smith and Janick Gers...
WOW! Solos aplenty!!! Each one of them brought their own element of awe into the gig! Janick is a complete performer; throwing his guitar up 6 feet above himself and catching it clean playing difficult solos incredibly while dancing about the stage. Dave engineering solos like there’s no tomorrow also making it look like a piece a’ cake and smiling at the crowd whereas Adrian, keeping a very calm air of cool about him also making solos piss easy but in actuality, the real reality of it all is that they might be the most difficult thing ever played on a guitar!

During 2 minutes to midnight:

Approaching the end of this rocking song people were going out of their mind, crazy at this point and Bruce was right up at the crowds grill! Really close to us. Pits were crazy! About 8 people fell to the ground at the front, and mid song Bruce stopped singing...the music kept on playing and everyone kept on going nuts. The people who fell were helped up and Bruce asked pretty much everyone who fell, pointing them out individually "are you alright?" and eventually getting back to the song he says "I have lost my track now" but luckily, the hardcore MAIDEN fans kept it alive by singing every word and Bruce heard this and carried it on...with his flawless voice!

As I assessed this situation that occurred post concert, I realised how much care Bruce and the rest of Maiden have for their fans, not only for the people who fell and Bruce asking them all if they r ok but the whole of Maiden put on a fucking incredibly, outstandingly, spectacularly, rockingly, PHWAAAARRR! Of a show. How?? I hear ye of little MAIDEN faith ask?

How many gigs have you been to where the band have put so much effort into their set to make it most enjoyable?

How many gigs have you been to where there are any props at all let alone 12 foot robotic Eddies walking about, Giant Tanks and a background which changed with every song?

How many gigs have you been to where the headlining band is on for over 2 hours? But most of all how many gigs have you been to where the front man/woman stops mid song to ask if everyone is ok? Hmm?? Hmm??!?!?

I put these questions to you and i challenge thee to defy me!

As my assessment of this FANTASTIC concert went on, tears almost brewed in the eyes that just saw the greatest band in the world...

UP THE IRONS!!!!!