I forgot to mention about my weekend when rambling in the early hours of this morning – or late at night….whichever way you choose to view it – I was an accomplice to ruining a birthday outing at the weekend. It was nothing major on my part as the party of four, me included, all seemed to have a role in corrupting it. It was a shame to begin with for the girl whose birthday it was as there was supposed to be 10 people attending but 6 pulled out! I felt bad for her but she was kool about it.
We began our little adventure in the heart of the west end. It was a pleasant, charismatic Moroccan place known as Azou. It was a very intimate place. Apparently it had been approved by Gordon Ramsey so I was in for a real treat! Upon our arrival, over half an hour late – because I am SUCH a badass – or due to a punctured car tyre, I found that I was the only dude there. Well, odds were good for me, right? Three girls. Ok, one was my sister and I do not practice incest because I am perfectly sane….or at least I am a normal functioning member of society and no one can prove otherwise! So that narrows me down to two girls! Oh, yeah! Sweet! Well, they are lovely ladies but they are fairly consecrated so I had to respect that. I still, and at most points throughout the night rather regretted, was just myself. I feel I had a set myself a comfort zone that should have had slightly more boundaries. Oh well.
So we arrived. We ate our food with next to no mishaps; all except the actual food was extremely hot. I mean from a temperate point of view not spicy. I love spicy. So, we were all eating as if we were deaf people trying to converse. No disrespect to deaf people but that is just what it looked like. It was what it was! Don’t judge me!!! I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was not the only person who ordered what I like to call a ‘real meal’. I knew my sister would not let me down either but I found I was in the presence of other carnivores and I was pleased to not have to justify eating meat to a bunch of tree hugging, butt licking hippies. Having finished my glorious meal, a lamb shank slowly cooked in a thick gravy and vegetables for about 3 hours….meat melted in my mouth, I was asked to finish off everyone else’s meal as well. Once again I was the token bin. I was far from complaining in fairness. Having polished off pretty much all the plates on the table we set off to a bar in East Central. It was a fair distance away and we had a flat tyre. It was just recipe for a tragic disaster. I am too young to die after all.
We ventured around to find a petrol station which would give us air to fill up the tyre. It quickly became a mission which all of us resented. After going to the first petrol station with an out of order machine we were given directions to another with a machine which claimed to work where really it just took two of my hard earned pounds for fuck all. It actually sucked the air out of the tyre rather than blow it in. Our collective decision was pretty much ‘fuck this!’ and we decided to go and find this bar regardless of a flat tyre or not. It had been about an hour by this point and being sat in the car that long does things to your mind. Especially seeing as we had to rely on bullshit radio for entertainment. As I said I was being myself and I was providing as much entertainment as possible. It was really good for me as well because I had people laughing to the point of being unable to breathe. Yes, I am a genius.
During our drive through all of London London
Our next step was to find this bar. We could not. We wasted about ¾ of a tank of petrol journeying through west London to east London and by this point we were in the car – on what was a humid night at 20 degrees C at around half past ten at night….I was impressed but, A/C was not being worked and I had the cake sitting on my sweltering laps. It just melted. I thought it was funny because I did ask for the A/C! Eventually the birthday girl mentioned that she is going to be picked up in the west end…..to say we were all livid due to this shattering irony will be understating it a little. We all had a hand in ruining it…
I still had a good night nonetheless. Birthday girl said she had a great time and she thought it was a memorable night. I think it is something we all secretly enjoyed as we all had a laugh in the car at one point. Not to be big headed but I feel that I fueled most of the wit. Never a dull moment with me except there always is. We all seemed to enjoy our impromptu tour of London.
It got me thinking about my birthdays. I have never really had an epic birthday celebration except my 18th which was something which wasn’t really planned. It just happened and I rolled with where ever the night took me. I always tried to replicate and plan a birthday like that after and quickly gave up. I can’t stand celebrating my birthday because it always just seems so disappointing. So, for me, it is just another day where I spend with my nearest and dearest, closest friends from home, BF, family. Based on what was planned and what came to fruition on Saturday – if this was my birthday I would have probably been a little pissed off. So I credit and respect the birthday girl for being such a champ about it.
I do love birthdays. I just don’t celebrate them well….I guess I don’t see the point of celebrating being even one step closer to your frail old age. Can’t say not to a present though…and cake…usually cakeSSSSS commemorating the anniversary of my escape from my mother’s amniotic Bastille.
Much love,
Jackson L.
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