Tell 'em hug and kiss my ass, X and O

I really dislike it when people change for the worse.  I am glad I have surrounded myself with people who I know will tell me like it is and they will actually say - 

“You have changed.  Not for the better. You are a dick.”

I prefer it this way.  It takes balls to be that sincere and sincerity is a quality I hold in very high regard.  When I am told by my nearest that I have changed for the worse, I will think about it long and hard.

What bothers me is when people feel they have developed an abounding attitude where in reality they are the pinnacle of douche.  When people say “I’m a diva!” No. You are a tremendous cunt and you are intensely fake.  I think I might kill you in your sleep but, I would much rather see you die slowly from the AIDS you are infested with.  Dick.  I know small children with more street cred than you. 

I refer you to an anecdote which recently occurred.  It did leave me feeling rather disgruntled but I did notice numerous changes.  At the end of it all I am pleased it happened as it allowed me to see things for what they really are and I feel it has done me a world of good.

A friend of mine moved to London around mid-September.  We both used to live in X and we used to spend a lot of time together.  I have hardly seen her since we have both moved down due to our busy lifestyles however; she did express herself as being very lonely since her move here.  Of course, being the friend I am I said whenever she wants she can call me or meet up and I will make the time to see her.  I also explained that I will drop a line every now and then just to make sure she’s ok.  So, I would text her most days during the week just to be sure she’s ok.  Earlier this week this back and forth took place: 

ME: Allo!  Just checking in! Hope you had a good weekend?

HER: Is ‘checking in’ your new favourite thing in life?

ME: Hmm…..well, it might be.  I do recall feeling a little bad for being out of touch and missing your calls for, and I quote, ‘a nice chat or something’.  Will speak later on sometime.

Neither she nor I have made any contact since.  I am adamant that I did nothing wrong.  My estimation of her has not really dipped in honesty but, I feel that her attitude has changed and for the worse.  She seems to think she has become “more London” ….what the fuck does that even mean?!  It really is a shame because she was a very gentle, caring girl who many looked to for the right thing to do as she always seemed the most level-headed.  Now she seems to be a total bitch.  Fuck it. 

As I mentioned, I felt many changed – most obviously in her manner – but also in mine.  I found that a few months earlier I would have reacted much more aggressively towards this happening.  I would have been irate for weeks after.  I feel I did the mature thing of brushing that dirt of my shoulder and moving on with my life.  I have new friends here in London.  I am not lonely here.  I am getting the most out of living here.  I am happy. 

I am glad I am not wasting my time or hate on people who just aren’t worth it.  Thankfully that list is getting shorter and shorter.  I do not need to justify my ways to anybody and I do not expect others to justify theirs to me.  Living well and successful is the biggest ‘FUCK YOU!’ you can issue. 

There are a few motivating words to take from a very inspirational man, Kanye West. 

“I live in the future so my present is my past.  My presence is a present.  KISS MY ASS!”

Much love,

Jackson L.