Wrong end of the stick.

I hate it when you think that you are talking to just one other person but, there are about 5 or 6 other people you have regular contact with on a daily basis.  It just sucks so many balls when you are having good banter with someone else and it seems like the rest of the world gets the wrong end of the stick!

During the week I was conversing with a lovely lady, who we shall call Miss Blue.  She and I chat very regularly and it is usually rather flirtatious and comical.  Everyone else in the office has either spoken to us individually about each other asking stuff like:

You guys would make a great couple!

And other puerile shit like that. 

Anyway, our conversion at some point went like this:

Miss Blue: What are you up to this weekend??

Me: Not too much, just catching up with some friends.  I have a bit of work to do but apart from that not too much.  How about you?

Miss Blue:  Nothing much.  Just having my girlfriends over and watching some films. 

Me: What kind of films?  Eh?!

Miss Blue: Oh, you know the usual…..

Me: Yeah, PORN!!  ANIMAL PORN!

Miss Blue:  Hahahha – you know me too well. 

Me: Nah, you’re just predictable. 

Miss Blue: Ugh! How dare you!!  Anyway, you free on Sunday?  Fancy a drink?

Me: Well I do have to go to the gym........

Putting her hand on my arm –

Miss Blue: When are you going to ask me out?! (Said in jest)

Me: Well, you’re just not my type.  (Also said in gag)

Miss Blue: WHAT?!  Smart, attractive women are not your type??!

Me: (cool as a cucumber….however cool they may be) No. Single women aren’t my type.  (Trying to be a bad ass)

Miss Blue: *Laughs hysterically*

Me: Cheers.  I’m here all night.

Well then, to say that I am public enemy number one in the office now is just an understatement.  People think I am actually the destroyer of happy relationships now.  It is just painful.  Even Miss Blue is going around convincing that people I am not a total cunt.  I mean – essentially being a bad ass is slightly cuntish.  But I am a textbook cunt in my colleagues’ opinions and, truth be told, I kind of like it. 

Much love,

Jackson L.