I said I would fill you in on my troubles with my family. Well, where do I begin?
Firstly – I am constantly ignored. I seem to, and all of my friends have also realised this, make very logical suggestions which constantly fall on deaf ears all the time but, whenever a suggestion is made to me I am happy to take this on board and most of the time run with it. Anyway, with the intense sense I speak constantly I always seem to turn out correct. It is actually quite painful to be continuously disregarded. The last suggestion I made was to avoid a certain, hideous and hysterically shitty restaurant on Edgware road called Maroush Express…. Anyone who frequents Edgware road knows that – at best – this place is good only for a shawarma wrap and THAT IS IT! I voiced my opinion on this shambolic restaurant before entering, saying we should really go elsewhere as this place is piss poor despite being incredibly busy, and I may as well have been conversing with a brick wall.
Much to my grief we went in anyway.
I begrudgingly made my order – a starter, a main with a side and a drink. My starter came out bit by bit, then my side came out with my starter and the drink then came and it was all just a disaster. We, well, not I, ended up telling the waitress to take food away to bring it back with our main….how embarrassing?! I loathed(!) being at this restaurant. However, on the upside, watching my mother and sister grimace at every forkful and strongly dislike the shocking service I was rather enjoying it….I guess that meal was made better because with every contortion of my sibling and mother – deep in the pits of my anguish, pain and self-loathing I was doing this:-
*Just the dancing part. Oprah Winfrey does not live deep in the pits of my anguish, pain and self-loathing. It would be kool if she did though.*
After leaving with a massive smile on my face and constantly laughing during dinner due to my gay dancing inside – I questioned my mother as to why she just swallowed her pride and LISTENED to someone much younger and more awesome than her. She began to explain that she only wanted to go in and let them know that she was unhappy about the service and hates the restaurant now but it was good before. Now, this restaurant is in the middle of Edgware road – literally the most Arab place outside of the Middle East – and the man who owns this shitty restaurant has monopolised the whole of Edgware road. He has restaurants on either side of the road every few steps. Literally. The restaurant branch we went to was the first restaurant he owned (and still does) which opened in 1981. It has been thriving for 30 years. So, I asked
“Do you really think they care that they have lost you as a customer? If anything you just spent £60 to tell them that you dislike them….I could have done it for free for you.”
To which she responded
“Of course they care!”
And then, I logically and calmly – seeing past all the retardedness of this entirely needless situation explained –
“This restaurant has been prosperous for the last 30 years. They will not be losing sleep now that you won’t be coming once every few years.”
Silence.
Jackson Infinity billion – Family 0…maybe 2 or 3.
That is one of many, MANY examples.
Secondly, I have realised I am thee pinnacle of getting things done in the family. I literally do everything and more when asked. I get asked to do everything by everyone in the family which I don’t mind doing. I like to think of myself as the glue that holds this dysfunctional family together. I do so much behind the scenes that I don’t even think they realise the positive impact it has. I make sure the logistics of everything is taken care of for everybody before shit gets moving. I like to keep a tight ship and I get very aggravated when stuff doesn’t come together. It’s the way I am wired….don’t get me wrong though, I am still quite laid back about a lot of things but, there are certain things, like travel arrangements or things that urgently need done I would be sure to get everyone on the right track. I would be the dependable one with an apparent truck load of expendable time. However, when it comes for me to need a favour from any of them it would seem I have to beg and plead.
I recently acquired a job as I have let you know (previous post). It is a great little job and the managers felt it more suitable for me to work night shifts for now (as do I because of my studying during the day). It suits me during the week anyway. The managers thought it was a good idea for me to work nights as there is a lot of heavy lifting involved after close time. So, I finish at very anti-social hours and it is usually when all public transport – except the scummy bus, dubbed ‘Peasant Wagon’ – cease to carry passengers. So, I asked for a favour from my sibling who I sacrifice at least an extra hour in bed for to drop her off to the nearest train station (a half hour walk away from our flat!) virtually every morning. I may drop snidey comments every now and then….everyday…but, I still do it. In order for equilibrium to be restored, one would suggest that it would be fair for my sibling to sacrifice an extra hour or so of sleep to come and pick me up?! That ‘one’ is me! She did it twice last week and I was so grateful. It was a little too much after that though. I let her know that I was extremely annoyed. I felt bad for being this annoyed about this situation but, I felt it was the only way I can express how exceptionally annoyed I was at this. It is beyond unfair.
I actually had to take the bus home one night and I think it was literally the longest, lowest hour or so of my life. In fairness, now my sister is leaving the car with me for the day. I feel this is a bit of a cop out as it means she does not have to come and pick me up herself and I would feel much more comfortable knowing she took the car back home and got in safely. I have found out that my managers live in Greenford and they drive home every night.
Lastly and for me most importantly – I have come to realise that my parents really grind my gears by forever treating me like a child. Whenever I ask them a question that may be a little taxing or requires deep thought for a good answer – sometimes life changing decisions they give me stupid instant responses like “God willing….” Or “I don’t know, it will be a little difficult.” Well of course it’s fucking difficult! It can change EVERYTHING!!!
As aforementioned, I do legitimately think that behind the scenes I am the one who is keeping the fire burning for this family. I am one step away from being my parents’ parent. All I need now is a massive salary. I guess all the greatest people in history have been hugely under appreciated.
Much love,
Jackson L.
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