Junior Apprentice and road cyclists

The junior apprentice series has begun and I instantly hate every contestant on it.  What a shower of stupid, needlessly arrogant, condescending, narcissistic cunts. 

One of the contestants literally said:

“I got 8 A*s and 2 As in my GCSEs and I am not intimidated by anyone because I know I’m better than them.”

Well, I will go and get the biscuits.  Fucking cock.  What a sad sack of shite.  Imagine thinking you are invincible because of your academic background.  Honestly, what puts it in their minds that they are so awesome?  I remember getting 8 1s in my Standard Grades and after about 2 weeks no one gave a shit and I carried on with my life. 

I guess it is her insecurities creeping in with a statement like that.  Obviously, due to the shocking mess that are her tragic looks she is not being chased by any of the boys in her year, most definitely because she will crush them under her beluga-whale-like weight if there were to be any boys interested unless she hasn’t already scared them off with her face which has a strong resemblance this.  Obviously she needs something to make her feel good about herself and, like most other ugly people, she turns to making her academics second to none. 

This is the caliber of unreserved douchebags that are littered in this show.  Honestly, how can you be this much of a monumental cunt with only 16 years of life?  You have barely had enough exposure to anything to be this much of a complete bell-end. 

Another contestant, the one who was dismissed, possibly one of the most egotistical wankers alive exclaimed that he still has a ‘successful’ business and he will go on to pursue a life of great achievements and Lord Sugar – an established businessman who has built an empire worth £800 million over the last 40 years – will regret not hiring this child.  Deluded much, you stupid shit head?  This kid sounded as though he had come from a humble up-bringing by his somewhat urbanised accent which in itself was insufferable.  The way he dressed with suits not at all tailored well for him and a big blinging gold watch made me, plainly, utter aloud:

“Are you for-fucking-real?”

The way he would articulate himself was comparable to a moderately well educated 3 year old.  How he had any business acumen or a ‘successful’ business I will never know.  And by that I mean I will never know who died and left him at the helm. 

Anyway, this guy had a head that made Alien’s look minuscule.  What’s funny is that it is both literal and figurative. 

If, as Allen Sugar says, our country’s economy is in their hands I am leaving the fucking country. 

You know what else aggravates me?  When I see cyclists on the road….especially when I am driving.  But, what annoys me beyond belief is when they are cycling, on a road with cars, with no hands.  They are just trying to show off.  Well, let me tell you, you are not kool.  If anything you are the pinnacle of cuntishness.  If Hitler carried out a genocide against the likes of you he would probably have been hailed a humanitarian visionary.  Stop being wreckless fucking wankers and endangering yourselves, other cyclists, pedestrians and drivers.  You fucking stupid fucking cunts. 

I may illustrate myself as heartless here but, I hope I am in the presence of one of these ‘no hander’ cyclists if and when they get hit.  I will be the first to run up and ask:

“You need a hand there…well you have two.  You should have been fucking using them!”

Knobs.

Much love,

Jackson L

Sport

It was a fantastic day for sport last Sunday.  We saw the final of the Rugby World Cup take place between the French who were lucky in their manner towards the final – despite having world player of the year, Captain Thierry Dusautoir, in their ranks - having lost two games on the road!  An All Blacks team lacking the powerful, potent attack that; arguably the most gifted player in the world - Dan Carter provides, were clearly not at full capacity.  It was an ugly final which even I, a neutral, couldn’t bare to watch.  The whole game, from start to finish was all that a final should offer. 

The French decided to form an ‘arrow head’ during the confrontation that is the native New Zealander Haka (war dance).  The French Federation of Rugby is now being fined £2500 which I feel is a little unfair.  Yes, it is only respectful to watch the spectacle that is the Haka while your opposition performs it but, with all the intensity in which it is executed, some dispute that it gives the All Blacks a psychological advantage – which I believe to be a load of utter shit!  The Samoans, Fijians and Tongans also have a Haka….none of these teams have won the world cup twice!  It is the quality of players which New Zealand have the world’s best of in many positions across the field.  Anyway, I disagree with the fine.  I think it is just as respectful to watch the challenge being laid down by the All Blacks via their intimidating war dance as, in your own way accepting the challenge by demonstrating you are not afraid.  You are here to do battle.  You are here as a team.  The French did all those things and it was not in defiance.  It was their own way of signifying their acceptance of the challenge with a counter-challenge. 

Piri Weepu, dubbed ‘Mr Fixit’ by many in New Zealand was the go to man when Dan Carter was ruled out early in the competition with a groin injury.  He remained in his Scrum-half position but took on the responsibilities of a fly half on pitch.  Despite his excellence during the tournament, he missed 8 points worth of kicks in the final – 2 penalties and a conversion, leaving it only 5-0 at half time instead of a potential 13-0.  By the end of the game, the All Blacks had to resort to their 4^th stand off – who came on to kick a penalty with wonderful composure to ensure an 8 point lead which would require the French to score twice to win the game.  The game ended at a nail biting, nerve wracking 8-7 as the French scored a try via their captain which was converted. 

It was not by any stretch of the imagination an All Black exhibition but, a win!  This ended their 24 year World Cup drought despite being the best team on the planet for so very long.  The French did play very well but, I hate it when people say the French deserved to win.  Well, they did not.  They did not deserve to win because they did not score more points.  Also, if you look at any good rugby team, one who pulls all the strings and makes all the play is and always will be the man wearing the number 10 jersey – the stand off position.  For New Zealand to have to rely on their FOURTH starting stand off in a world cup final and STILL win, albeit by a single point, goes to show the strength in depth this team have and in my humble opinion, very much the deserved winners of the most prestigious prize in international rugby.  So, to those who say otherwise – I casually spit in your face and ceremoniously walk away from your futile, feeble minded opinions/self.  Just remember what New Zealand did to France earlier in the world cup during the pool stages.  That was them at full capacity and it was above and beyond any of the other matches of the world cup.  It was one of the best displays of rugby I have ever seen.  I am not saying that the All Blacks would have repeated this in the final….every game is different but, do not forget what they are capable of when they are firing on all cylinders. 

In the last 20 minutes of that game I actually felt my heart racing!  I have no affiliation whatsoever to New Zealand – if anything more for France I was on the verge of embarking on a professional rugby career there.  I guess I hadn’t realised I wanted them to win it so much. 

A positive find for the future of New Zealand rugby was Aaron Cruden.  Only 22 years old and by chance, given the opportunity to start at number 10 and he seized upon the prospect….and what a prospect he is!  Unfortunately, it looked like he tore some ligaments in his knee during the final.  A great player with a fantastic future.  He is a possible replacement for Dan the man. 

This final marked a great day for rugby where we saw many a great and celebrated name in world rugby finally be labeled ‘world champion’.  Most notably Captain Richie McCaw.

All the power, all the passion, all the glory, all the world.  The All Blacks.  The hallowed black is finally turned to gold.  Well done New Zealand. 

The day only got better when I learned the result of the Manchester derby.  Man City schooled Man United at Old Trafford – ‘The Theatre of Dreams’ – and a dream it was!  6-1 the final score and an embarrassed Sir Alex Ferguson conceded the most humiliating day in Manchester United history.  Mario Balotelli is such a hero.  Having read an interview with him recently, I am happy to see he has really taken a shining to Roberto Mancini who I think is doing a great job at Man City.  I think he will do well this year. So far undefeated in the league and enjoying a 5 point lead on the summit. 

I love sport!  It is so sad to see the Rugby World Cup end but I cannot be happier for the eventuality. 

Much love,

Jackson L.

Heroes.

I was watching Frasier yesterday as I received the whole boxset from my sister for my birthday.  It is just fantastic.  I love the humour, it is above and beyond most other itcoms I have watched like Friends.  Friends just seems like the commoner’s sitcom compared to Frasier. 

It was a Halloween special episode that actually got me wracking my brain.  In this particular episode Frasier threw a party with the theme of coming as your hero.  Frasier went as Sigmund Freud as he believes it was him who sparked such a keen interest in psychology and given it is what he does as a profession he felt he had a hand in molding his character.  Fair enough I thought.  But then, I began thinking….who is my hero?  I really do not know who my hero is.  Well, apart from my dad – cliché central – I have no real hero who has influenced me in such a way that it has defined my character or persona. 

FYI – my dad is a hero to me as his life is a remarkable story.  He has come from humble upbringings in Iraq to a very well respected cardiologist.  He took his family out of a country torn by war, he was exiled from neighbouring countries and he had to leave the Middle East, the area he has known all his life, to provide a better future for his family.  To provide the way my father has is truly heroic. 

I have sporting heroes, people I look up to when I am in need of inspiration and heroes in music but, there is no one outstanding who has made me the person I am today.  I don’t think anyway…

Who is your hero?

Much love,

Jackson L.