Day 13 of Ramadan

Well we are now nearly half way through this sacred month.  But, enough about Ramadan for just a moment - I finally got around to watching the massively acclaimed 'Black Swan' starring Natalie Portman as a shy, over protected ballerina and Mila Kunis - a total bad ass ballerina.  It was basically just soft-core porn with deep metaphorical undertones in the story.

The ballet act of Swan Lake is a princess get turned into a swan by some evil bitch and she needs a prince to free her of her spell.  The swan's evil twin, Black swan - who is a Black swan - tricks the prince into falling for the wrong swan and the white swan kills herself at the end.  Natalie Portman is chosen to play the parts of both swans and the pressure encompasses her entire life as she is not giving a bollocks grabbing performance during rehearsals.  She herself transforms from an innocent girl to all things evil, hence she literally becomes both swans.  It was cleverly done and Natalie Portman gave a fantastic performance and Mila Kunis is hot but, a little over hyped I feel.

Now, I feel I got a pretty decent understanding of the film.  I thought it was ok, based on the performances of some of the actors/actresses but, I know countless people who have said to me

"Oh my god, you should go and see Black Swan!  It is AWESOME!!"  


These people I can guarantee many of them do not have a clue what it was about and just enjoyed the awkward sex scenes.  I hate it when retards say stuff just because everyone else does.  Well done you inoffensive prick.  Your opinion is not even average.

It was a good film but not one I will go back to for a long while.

I am still to get a few more DVDs and Blu Rays.  Yeah...Blu Rays because I am a Hi-Tec prodigy...and by that I mean I'm barely keeping up. I desperately want to get my hands on 'The Wire' and I have recently developed much love for the character Niles in 'Frazier' so I will be getting that too.

I recently watched 'In Bruges'.  I think Colin Farrell is a complete wanker.  Total Knob.  But, Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes gave fucking awesome performances and the story was entertaining.  It had a really quirky script too.  I love Brendan Gleeson.  Can we just take a moment and admire this photo of him.

Hero. 

Much love, 

Jackson L. 

Days 5, 6, 7 and 8 ....and 9

Ok, so the weekend happened.  I had not been able to update you on my trials of Ramadan of late but, in honesty, nothing of significance has occurred   I have just been getting on with it now.  I have been weighing myself for the past few days to see how much baring fasting has on the old body weight.  5 minutes pre-'breakfast' I am always 5 kilos lighter.  FIVE! But, after consuming everything my fridge has to offer and then some, I am usually back up to my normal weight....and then some.

Today, once again, certain individuals in my family have depended on me heavily, despite me having my own life to live.  I was awake early today (did I mention I have an 18 hour fast to observe?!) to make my hour and a half commute to university.  Unfortunately, my research subjects have been REALLY fucking me over so I have a bit of convincing to do to get them on board.  Anyway, I was made to feel guilty for allegedly not telling said person that I was NOT able to come with to the hospital as I have to go and sort some shit out at university.  I was told that I was 'unbelievable'.  Yes, I am.  I am pretty spectacular to be honest.  However, said person is just a big pussy who is scared of going to the hospital on her own and has once again derailed my plans to just get on with my own bullshit.  Thanks.  Dick.

I explained and pinpointed the exact moment in which I explained why I was unable to attend but, I think, like she usually claims to do (just to be funny), she just switched off.  Well, let me tell you - you are not funny.  If anything you are the antithesis  of funny (unlike me).

Needless to say I was sat in several waiting rooms.  I spent £3.40 to wait in a fucking hospital.  Just to add insult to injury, I had to wait in a second waiting room which harboured two trannies.  One was literally half way through his sex change - tits and a beard.  Weird.  I then spent another £2.50 to return home having accomplished nothing with my life today and desperately hating everything.  And what's more is I get asked

"Why are you being such a dick?!"

Well, eloquence was never my family's strongest point.  It would also seem we have have a severe lack of intelligence when it comes to simply understanding basic  phrases.  I guess I haven't spelt it out yet, so here goes.

I HAVE MY OWN SHIT TO DEAL WITH RIGHT NOW SO CAN YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE FOR NOW.  

Hopefully this will register.  I would love to see how they would function if I just took a sabbatical from their bullshit.  It is funny too because whenever I say I am DEFINITELY 'the go to guy' of the family because I am the one who gets shit done - this gets disputed.  I hereby take that sabbatical.

T, a fair observer, says its very unfair and he has always thought I do too much.

Much love,

Jackson L.

Day 4 of Ramadan

Day 4

A very, very dreary day in London today which is a stark contrast to what it was like yesterday!  It’s really annoying because you have to be very conscious of accidentally ingesting rain water.  I was discussing with a colleague, now that we are in the rhythm of fasting everyday, that when it comes to Eid it will be weird to wake up to have breakfast again – at a social hour anyway, rather than at 2.30am! 

I had to go to work again and I a really settling in well now.  I am somewhat of a hero at work already as I look awesome speaking in Arabic with all the Arab customers and I even (behind the scenes) help set up a meeting with a man from Saudi Arabia who was very interested in getting this franchise out to the Middle East. 

The one criticism I have about work now is that I am only getting night shifts.  It is just so draining, especially since I cannot use public transport to get back home as I finish too late.  I also asked for two day shifts at the weekend so that I can have a little downtime but I have been given all nightshifts only.  There is no real incentive to work nightshifts either unless it is a Monday or a Thursday where you get a shitload of free stuff.  I have had a few obnoxious dickheads come in as well – most of the European who just talk over me when I am explaining to them how it all works.  I just feel like saying:

“Fine, FUCK OFF!  If you fuck this up it’s nothing to do with me.  Cock!”

But, I don’t. 

I also had some American surfer douchebag who dresses from head to toe in Abercrombie and Fitch whom I just wanted to kick six shades of shit out of. 

He asked me if this was similar to something they have in the US and I said I didn’t know as it was not my business and explained I only work there. 

He responds with,

“What are you Scottish?”

“No.  I lived there for 15 years.”

In a pathetic attempt at a Scottish accent -  

“Ah luved there fur 15 yeeeeeers.”

“Was that supposed to be a Scottish accent?”

“Tragic.”

“I think you might have a law suit in your hands.  This is too similar to a place in the US.”

“Would like some biscuits with that?”

“No, thanks.”

I love how they don’t get sarcasm. 

I went to the gym once again yesterday and it was really good.  I am glad I am getting hard gym sessions in during Ramadan.  It takes a whole new level of fitness though. 

I think I am in full swing of Ramadan now.  I am getting used to it now and just getting on with it. 

Much love,

Jackson L.